When two teenagers love each other very much, sometimes that love turns into a baby. When a 38-year-old man watches "16 and Pregnant," sometimes that turns into a blog post.
SD Pfieffy, Thanks for making me feel less alone in my regular "16&PG" viewing! It's my favorite MTV program since the "True Life" Jersey Shore installment. This ep is my favorite as well...because of Weston and Whitney... but also because of Meemaw, Eerie, and Meemaw's novelty mug!
Alycia believes that her boyfriend of "four long yerrrs" has been seduced by her best friend, who apparently cooks the most seductive chicken tetrazzini on Earth. But what's even more seductive than that is the way Alycia says "chicken tetrazzini."…
NPR is the butt of a lot of jokes, including the classic "Schweddy Balls" sketch on "SNL," and most of it is deserved. But as Linda Holmes talked about on NPR's "Monkey See" blog this afternoon, it is good for something: The…
24/7 Wall St. lists the next ten major newspapers that it thinks will go digital or fold, and there are some big names on the list: The Philadelphia Daily News, The Minneapolis Star Tribune, The Miami Herald, The Detroit News, The Boston Globe, The San…
The Vulture blog has an item today about how our current economic climate is affecting the entertainment industry. We already knew that the depletion of tax credits in New York meant that no new pilots will be shot here (and "Fringe" is relocating for…
Apple guru Steve Jobs, seen here introducing the iPhone 3G, says that his drastic weight loss and rumored dire health are due to a hormonal imbalance that he will address through nutritional changes that are relatively "simple and straightforward." Jobs…
Burger King has made the news recently for the $200 burger they're selling in the U.K., but also (and more importantly) for FLAME, the body spray they've released in New York. FLAME has since sold out at all Ricky's locations in the city and online, and…
When I was growing up, my favorite things to do were send myself to the emergency room and watch infomercials. I don't know what it was about the spray-on hair, food dehydrators, or the weird beet-celery-carrot juice concoctions, but I loved them. I didn't…
SNL finally got a new governor to kick around! Well, two, actually, although only New York Gov David Paterson got the full treatment this weekend. That's kind of an honor, right? Except what about the Mr. Magoo -level jokes about Paterson's blindness? Paterson…
Ah yes, I forgot to mention the hilarious obsession with NJ: "What do you have against New Jersey? Unfortunately a southern border." I am from Pennsylvania, the state NJ keeps the water out of.
Normally, Andy Rooney's "60 Minutes" commentaries are nonsensical, pointless, and uninformative, but I think we all give the man a break because he probably ran out of interesting topics to cover before most of us were born. (Because he's really old.) But…
As terrifying new unemployment stats are released, the Dow can barely stay above 8000, and the sun is still down when the alarm goes off, wouldn't we all like to think about something frothy and inconsequential? I know, let's start talking about what Michelle…
There are some who would say that that even one season of "The Rachel Zoe Project" was more than our culture needed. But Bravo evidently knows better than the rest of us, and thus has ordered another season. Given that most of the fun we've already had with…
Google employees enjoy famously generous perks at the Googleplex. They catch free rides to work on luxury buses, have subsidized childcare, and eat three free meals a day. Googlers have even managed to maintain their high standard of living despite the economic…
At the announcement of Barack Obama's choice of Bill Richardson as his administration's Secretary of Commerce, a reporter asks Richardson what happened to his goatee, and Obama can't restrain himself from answering on Richardson's behalf: "Maybe 'cause…
NBC's "30 Rock" has taken some heat this season for going a little overboard with the stuntcasting, what with the Oprah and the Aniston and this Larry King business coming up. But the show rarely gets credit for doing a good job casting guest stars who…
When is the Moonwalk gonna come back? That was the greatest dance move ever. I could only do it in my socks after the floor was waxed. Kids in my school would Moonwalk down the hall to their next class. One glove and everything. But please please please please…
A friend of mine said “Lost in Translation” was slow and boring so I slapped her. Hard. Nothing like violence to get across my point that Sofia Coppola’s film is nothing less than one of cinema’s most beautiful meditations on lives in flux. It’s a poem, and…
If I ever met Shaquille O'Neal, I think we'd become best friends. How do I know this? Well, for starters we both don't like Kobe Bryant. We also enjoy giving ourselves nicknames. Plus, I think his freestyle smack-talk, including this clip where he legendarily asks,…
Last week we explored the power of music, courtesy of a clip of bears playing hockey. This week, we continue our quest to help our silent video friends with this clip of two idiots playing million dollar bumper boats. Like last time, click the link of…
Harry Reasoner asked Miles Davis some pretty stupid questions in this interview from 1989. But Davis managed to give some amazing answers. When Reasoner asked him if the blues is in the DNA of black people because of slavery, Davis set him straight: “Listen.…
I do this all the time. I'll go on Netflix, mark a bunch of "classic" movies that I feel like I should have seen, get them in the mail, and promptly leave them on my desk for months at a time. Sometimes I'll even send them back unwatched, just so I can get…
When Charles Kuralt died, so did interesting stories on TV about people like the country’s top shoe salesman in 1983, Larry Joltin, and Bill Hafeman of Big Fork, Minnesota, who built beautiful birch bark canoes. Someone is still New York City's fastest bike…
That Dave Leopold clip is awesome. Apparently he runs his own place, <A HREF="http://messmagazine.net/mess/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=220&Itemid=61">Cavalry Couriers</A> now.
When a vending machine eats my money, or my chips or candy get stuck, I get really mad. I don't fully understand why, but I'm working on it with my therapist. Hopefully soon I can stop having visions of destruction every time I hit the buttons for my peanut…
"16 and Pregnant": Meemaw Rule
When two teenagers love each other very much, sometimes that love turns into a baby. When a 38-year-old man watches "16 and Pregnant," sometimes that turns into a blog post.
MattHimes, posted July 16, 2009, 12:51 AM
SD Pfieffy, Thanks for making me feel less alone in my regular "16&PG" viewing! It's my favorite MTV program since the "True Life" Jersey Shore installment. This ep is my favorite as well...because of Weston and Whitney... but also because of Meemaw, Eerie, and Meemaw's novelty mug!
Chicken Tetrazzini Will Steal Your Man
Alycia believes that her boyfriend of "four long yerrrs" has been seduced by her best friend, who apparently cooks the most seductive chicken tetrazzini on Earth. But what's even more seductive than that is the way Alycia says "chicken tetrazzini."…
MattHimes, posted April 21, 2009, 02:12 AM
I'm just going to sit here and meditate on this clip for a while. It's relaxing.
How to Find Your NPR Name
NPR is the butt of a lot of jokes, including the classic "Schweddy Balls" sketch on "SNL," and most of it is deserved. But as Linda Holmes talked about on NPR's "Monkey See" blog this afternoon, it is good for something: The…
MattHimes, posted April 15, 2009, 09:20 PM
Thank you, Tarca. This is Mattathew Usti, signing off...
Newspaper Death Toll Might Soon Include Some of the Biggest Names in Journalism
24/7 Wall St. lists the next ten major newspapers that it thinks will go digital or fold, and there are some big names on the list: The Philadelphia Daily News, The Minneapolis Star Tribune, The Miami Herald, The Detroit News, The Boston Globe, The San…
MattHimes, posted March 10, 2009, 06:35 PM
...and here's another cartoon: http://www.theonion.com/content/cartoon/mar-02-2009
More "How I Met Your Mother"? Losing Our 401ks Was Totally Worth It!
The Vulture blog has an item today about how our current economic climate is affecting the entertainment industry. We already knew that the depletion of tax credits in New York meant that no new pilots will be shot here (and "Fringe" is relocating for…
MattHimes, posted February 25, 2009, 01:13 AM
This would be a perfect time to bring back "Lucky Louie"! Three-camera sitcoms don't get more recessionary than that.
Apple's Steve Jobs Alive, Just Feeling a Bit Hormonal
Apple guru Steve Jobs, seen here introducing the iPhone 3G, says that his drastic weight loss and rumored dire health are due to a hormonal imbalance that he will address through nutritional changes that are relatively "simple and straightforward." Jobs…
MattHimes, posted January 05, 2009, 05:02 PM
I always thought the correct spelling of "Apple fanboys" was "Apple fanbois"
Burger King's FLAME Body Spray Reaches $102 on eBay; Should I Sell?
Burger King has made the news recently for the $200 burger they're selling in the U.K., but also (and more importantly) for FLAME, the body spray they've released in New York. FLAME has since sold out at all Ricky's locations in the city and online, and…
MattHimes, posted December 22, 2008, 09:33 PM
Keep it. I like the smell. I like pretending my cubicle is a toilet stall at the Vince Lombardi Rest Stop.
The Wunder Boner Reminds Me of My Childhood
When I was growing up, my favorite things to do were send myself to the emergency room and watch infomercials. I don't know what it was about the spray-on hair, food dehydrators, or the weird beet-celery-carrot juice concoctions, but I loved them. I didn't…
MattHimes, posted December 18, 2008, 04:04 PM
"My wife would like one of those."
Offensive David Paterson "SNL" Sketch Made Me Laugh Anyway
SNL finally got a new governor to kick around! Well, two, actually, although only New York Gov David Paterson got the full treatment this weekend. That's kind of an honor, right? Except what about the Mr. Magoo -level jokes about Paterson's blindness? Paterson…
MattHimes, posted December 15, 2008, 06:03 PM
Ah yes, I forgot to mention the hilarious obsession with NJ: "What do you have against New Jersey? Unfortunately a southern border." I am from Pennsylvania, the state NJ keeps the water out of.
Andy Rooney Discusses His Body Hair; No One At CBS Stops Him
Normally, Andy Rooney's "60 Minutes" commentaries are nonsensical, pointless, and uninformative, but I think we all give the man a break because he probably ran out of interesting topics to cover before most of us were born. (Because he's really old.) But…
MattHimes, posted December 08, 2008, 10:49 PM
This will really bring the Andy Rooney fetishists to our site - great SEO'ing!
Michelle, La Belle
As terrifying new unemployment stats are released, the Dow can barely stay above 8000, and the sun is still down when the alarm goes off, wouldn't we all like to think about something frothy and inconsequential? I know, let's start talking about what Michelle…
MattHimes, posted December 05, 2008, 07:45 PM
I have never been attracted to a first lady like I'm attracted to Michelle Obama (Barbara Bush was a platonic, gramma thing, so it doesn't count)
The Extra Mayo Project
There are some who would say that that even one season of "The Rachel Zoe Project" was more than our culture needed. But Bravo evidently knows better than the rest of us, and thus has ordered another season. Given that most of the fun we've already had with…
MattHimes, posted December 04, 2008, 09:41 PM
Ol' "Raisin Face" looks great as a size 8, but I love this show in any size. In fact, I dare say I die.
Hard Times at the Googleplex
Google employees enjoy famously generous perks at the Googleplex. They catch free rides to work on luxury buses, have subsidized childcare, and eat three free meals a day. Googlers have even managed to maintain their high standard of living despite the economic…
MattHimes, posted December 04, 2008, 05:07 PM
Google? More like Froogle! (Oh wait, Google already made that joke when they named their shopping app, damn!)
Yes, Tell Us More About the...Beard
At the announcement of Barack Obama's choice of Bill Richardson as his administration's Secretary of Commerce, a reporter asks Richardson what happened to his goatee, and Obama can't restrain himself from answering on Richardson's behalf: "Maybe 'cause…
MattHimes, posted December 03, 2008, 11:13 PM
My favorite political beard is Larry Craig's wife.
A Stritch, In Time
NBC's "30 Rock" has taken some heat this season for going a little overboard with the stuntcasting, what with the Oprah and the Aniston and this Larry King business coming up. But the show rarely gets credit for doing a good job casting guest stars who…
MattHimes, posted December 03, 2008, 08:51 PM
Good point on the 30 Rock "secret weapons." Aniston was good and all, but Elaine Stritch is a national treasure!
Eddie Murphy Can't Moonwalk
When is the Moonwalk gonna come back? That was the greatest dance move ever. I could only do it in my socks after the floor was waxed. Kids in my school would Moonwalk down the hall to their next class. One glove and everything. But please please please please…
MattHimes, posted December 01, 2008, 07:39 PM
Eddie was so hot at this point in his career he needed specially-designed "mic gloves"
For a Relaxing Time, Make It Suntory Time
A friend of mine said “Lost in Translation” was slow and boring so I slapped her. Hard. Nothing like violence to get across my point that Sofia Coppola’s film is nothing less than one of cinema’s most beautiful meditations on lives in flux. It’s a poem, and…
MattHimes, posted November 25, 2008, 06:10 PM
What does he whisper in her ear? Now it can be <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MV7Sym8bIQ">revealed</A>.
Shaq, Will You Be My Friend?
If I ever met Shaquille O'Neal, I think we'd become best friends. How do I know this? Well, for starters we both don't like Kobe Bryant. We also enjoy giving ourselves nicknames. Plus, I think his freestyle smack-talk, including this clip where he legendarily asks,…
MattHimes, posted November 24, 2008, 09:40 PM
With this new Rock Band <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAgj5eKm8kg">commercial</A> Kobe just got more hateable! He's too cool to wear boxers.
Pick Your Song: Naval Edition
Last week we explored the power of music, courtesy of a clip of bears playing hockey. This week, we continue our quest to help our silent video friends with this clip of two idiots playing million dollar bumper boats. Like last time, click the link of…
MattHimes, posted November 24, 2008, 03:44 PM
You know if we're out poppin bottles on a yacht it's gotta be <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plUy7Me_fZQ">"Big Pimpin,'"</A> son!
From the Bottom Up
MattHimes, posted November 19, 2008, 06:43 PM
butterface?
Choose Your Own Soundtrack
MattHimes, posted November 18, 2008, 05:03 PM
For straight thuggin', ruff-rydin', loc'd out bears, <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lgfDTNDz44">"Party Up In Here"</A> by DMX. Of course.
Kind of Blue
Harry Reasoner asked Miles Davis some pretty stupid questions in this interview from 1989. But Davis managed to give some amazing answers. When Reasoner asked him if the blues is in the DNA of black people because of slavery, Davis set him straight: “Listen.…
MattHimes, posted November 17, 2008, 05:15 PM
Awesome interview!
A Netflix Guilt Trip
I do this all the time. I'll go on Netflix, mark a bunch of "classic" movies that I feel like I should have seen, get them in the mail, and promptly leave them on my desk for months at a time. Sometimes I'll even send them back unwatched, just so I can get…
MattHimes, posted November 14, 2008, 10:10 PM
You've inspired me. I'm finally gonna get through "Cannonball Run 2" this weekend. No more excuses!
Charles Kuralt's America
When Charles Kuralt died, so did interesting stories on TV about people like the country’s top shoe salesman in 1983, Larry Joltin, and Bill Hafeman of Big Fork, Minnesota, who built beautiful birch bark canoes. Someone is still New York City's fastest bike…
MattHimes, posted November 13, 2008, 09:08 PM
That Dave Leopold clip is awesome. Apparently he runs his own place, <A HREF="http://messmagazine.net/mess/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=220&Itemid=61">Cavalry Couriers</A> now.
Vending Machines Suck
When a vending machine eats my money, or my chips or candy get stuck, I get really mad. I don't fully understand why, but I'm working on it with my therapist. Hopefully soon I can stop having visions of destruction every time I hit the buttons for my peanut…
MattHimes, posted November 07, 2008, 10:04 PM
Next time try the <A HREF="http://joeys-fine-foods.stores.yahoo.net/assel.html">Joey's</A> - there's luv in every bite!