Burger King has provoked incredulity, disgust, outrage, and uncontrollable giggling with their latest kids meal ad, which spoofs Sir Mix-A-Lot's sexually-charged "Baby Got Back" video. Naturally, people freaked out when they saw a kids' cartoon character…
Mostly, I'm relieved that Will Arnett and Amy Poehler happily had a baby, on purpose, as opposed to what happens to her character in the clip above. Poehler actually had Archie late last year, but he made his first public appearance this week. Normally, I…
Seriously, it can't. Above, this weekend's latest take: Troy Bolton (Zac Efron) returns to East High to lay some harsh truths on the newest class of graduates. ("Word of advice: look at who you're talking to! Once you leave this school, no one projects or…
Brace yourself for Will and Tara's liveblog of the best reality show ever to make it to TV. (Sorry, New Jersey. This is going to sting a little.) 1:54:53 PM Will Edmondson: You had me at "Real Housewives," but "of NEW JERSEY," Bravo!? YOU'VE…
Geese are nasty. Case in point: green space along NYC's west side along the Hudson. Gaggles have taken over and peppered with enormous poops making picnics, sunning and romantic lounging impossible. The scientist who perfects a safe goose repellent? Epic hero.
Legendary "Price is Right" host Bob Barker will return to his old show on April 16 to promote his autobiography, "Priceless Memories." Barker's appearance will probably overshadow his replacement Drew Carey, considering that the show is…
Curt Schilling announced his retirement on his blog 38Pitches today. The 42-year old pitcher had a 20-year major league career, and his 10-2 record in the postseason is regarded by some as the best ever. The famously-outspoken Schilling went out typically, saying…
Countess Luann de Lesseps loves to regale her "Housewife" subjects with lessons of etiquette, justifying her expertise with her aristocratic title. You see, the Connecticut-born Countess married into the family who presented the Statue of Liberty to…
"Real" New Yorker Alex McCord and her husband Simon live in a (decrepit) Brooklyn brownstone, complete with water-damaged ceilings and crumbling floors. In one episode, when fellow "Housewife" Fran Drescher Bethenny Frankel dropped by to celebrate McCord's son's…
What are you doing? _____________________________ _____________________________ robbtodd: I’m gazing at my navel robbtodd: I’m gazing at my navel robbtodd: I’m gazing at my navel robbtodd: I’m gazing at my navel robbtodd:…
I'm as thrilled as the next guy to see a bunch of fratty, self-satisfied, toolbags exposed for their lameness. Just not at the expense of, y'know, healthcare, infrastructure, national security, employment, housing, etc., etc., ad nauseam.
There isn't an entertainment product on this earth that will entirely sate me until "Crank 2: High Voltage," but here's something that could come close: "ROBOCOP"! (The movie title isn't actually in all-caps, though IT COULD BE: IT'S THAT…
Yes, Alexander Wang has created a limited-edition designer condom. This represents a serious public-health initiative that could prevent unwanted pregnancies and potentially save lives. So can we please all try to be grownups and stop giggling at the fact…
So says Nadya Suleman in this preview of her "Today" show interview, scheduled to run on Monday. To which the only response is, "yeah you will!" Blithely ignoring Ann Curry's hushed scolding, Suleman casts herself as a woman unfairly…
Time will tell: as the clip above details, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs will make his primetime TV acting debut in an upcoming episode of "CSI: Miami." Of course, Diddy is no stranger to the legal system, so he should be well prepared to go…
Burger King has made the news recently for the $200 burger they're selling in the U.K., but also (and more importantly) for FLAME, the body spray they've released in New York. FLAME has since sold out at all Ricky's locations in the city and online, and…
President George W. Bush will take to the airwaves tonight at 8 p.m. ET to give his farewell address, and I'm a little ticked off about it. Politics aside, the guy's going to take up 15 minutes of our Thursday primetime TV schedule. Yeah, it'll be kind of…
The pilot episode of "United States Of Tara" is online (ten days in advance of its premiere on that other box you sometimes use to watch TV shows), and as the office's only Tara, I felt it incumbent upon me to review it, though the character pronounces…
The trailer for Juno alone was enough to keep me away. Bummer about the namesakes. My parents were torn between Jenna, Crystal and Amber. I escaped all 3 when I arrived a brunette.
I would like to recreate for you the experience of seeing "Role Models" in the theatre with me. First, watch the trailer above. Then come back here. Me: "More like 'The Uninterested.'" But seriously, good luck to…
30 years ago, director Arnold Shapiro filmed some teenage delinquents getting schooled by a bunch of "lifers" at Rahway State Prison in New Jersey. The result was the Oscar-winning documentary "Scared Straight!" Based on the clips from…
a really old guy i know told me he saw this when he was in jr. high and it scared him from smoking grass for like 2 months. and then he saw florrie fisher and he suddenly realized that the fabric of the space/time continuum was rumpled and life was a funhouse freak show without acid. blarg, thanks for shining a spotlight on florrie again. righteous.
Tribbles turned 41 on Monday, but the environmental message of "The Trouble with Tribbles" episode still resonates: watch out for invasive species, even if they are supercute. But there is also a fuzzy, purring message of love in this episode. In the end,…
Swindler extraordinaire Bernie Madoff reported that someone had stolen a large $10,000 statue from the backyard of his Palm Beach home. The sculpture depicted two full-sized lifeguards perched atop a tall chair. Aah, I can't help but say it: too bad they…
Really, where the hell DID all that money go? Any reports of his assets and what got seized? You could flush 100s down the toilet day and night and never unload that much dough.
Now THAT is a scouting enthusiast: Shawn Goldsmith, of Long Island, NY, has earned all 121 merit badges available to a Boy Scout. He should Be Prepared...to get a wedgie when he goes back to school. But seriously, that is impressive. I think I had about ten…
Adolf Hitler Campbell is 3 years old and lives with his parents and sisters JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell (named for Heinrich Himmler) in Milford, Pennsylvania. When it came time for Adolf's birthday celebration, his…
I don't know why I find that so surprising ... other than that he's 947 years old. After all, WillECoyote just documented that he was alive a month ago, but I was certain Rickles would have kicked the bucket between now and then. Forget about adding whey…
Congratulations to the producers of "The Dog Whisperer" for determining the one thing that would make me miss an episode. Normally, I love watching Cesar Millan judging people for their bad decisions -- same when I watch Jo Frost on "Supernanny" or…
A couple months ago we posted the Rap Battle Gone Bad. For those of you who didn't understand what was said to cause the fight this is the translation.
SNL finally got a new governor to kick around! Well, two, actually, although only New York Gov David Paterson got the full treatment this weekend. That's kind of an honor, right? Except what about the Mr. Magoo -level jokes about Paterson's blindness? Paterson…
The Internet is by far the most efficient delivery system for cute animal pics and videos the world has ever known. Indeed, the ease with which the Web allows one to savor all manner of monkey jockeys, toilet-flushing cats and piano hamsters has led to…
High school girls have a terrible reputation. According to movies, TV, and just about every media outlet, they are spiteful meanies who do terrible things like engineer en masse underage pregnancies (see video above). The appeal of the teen-girl dustup is…
Not too many years ago, fake-memoirist James Frey's "runaway imagination" caused a storm of controversy that made Oprah hopping mad. Amongst the author's harshest critics were the bloggers at Gawker, who ruthlessly mocked him to no end. What's a…
With each passing day bringing so many media layoffs that New York Magazine's Daily Intelligencer blog has created a "Media Death Watch" category, it should hardly surprise anyone that CBS is the latest outfit rumored to make major staff reductions. If…
He's gone from being annoying to being a charming relic. Hope they don't put him out to pasture... unless that pasture has a webcam where he can rail into his 90's about being flummoxed by newfangled doohickeys and hornswaggled by chicanery, skullduggery and tomfoolery. The Web is where he needs to retire.
Schwab toolbag is part of clever new strategy called anti-advertising. The commercial is so painful and annoying you never forget it. Not unlike getting raped with a white-hot poker
The Julie/Julia Project, in which writer Julie Powell set out to attempt every recipe in Julia Child's legendary cookbook "The Art Of French Cooking," blogging her efforts all the while, has succeeded beyond anyone's reasonable expectations: not…
Yeah, somebody needs to cut Oprah's cheesiest platitudes into one of those Daily Show montages. But who the hell is Kathy Griffin accuse anyone of being disingenuous? She fronts as a woman we all know she's a pre-op tranny.
Can someone from Hasbro please tell this guy that you don't have to play Jenga on your head? And if he has to play on his head, can someone tell him there are lighter and less painful options than cement bricks? Oh, and you don't have to play on a rickety boat…
It’s almost 2009 and pirates are still hijacking ships. Did you just hear what I said? I mean, did you just read what I wrote? There are pirates on the high seas! How is that possible with the weapons and technology we have today? Walking the plank is so…
I know that even some Obama supporters might be getting sick of all this gushing. But I feel especially sad for you if you hate that he got elected. Ouch. Must hurt. A lot. Sorry, though, I just can’t stop being happy yet. There are going to be little black…
Everyone figure out who they're voting for? Great. That gives us twelve whole days to horse around with dance contests, wrasslin' matches, chili cook-offs and whatever other fun competitions we can come up with. Come on, America, you've earned it - why…
Hey Mel Gibson, what’s the only thing better than a Jewish joke? That’s right, an animated Jewish joke set in Nazi-era Europe. Don't worry, its got a talking dog and a baby, no one will be offended. Why don’t we take a break from this Malibu sobriety test…
John McCain is a war hero. Yeah, we all got that. Does that mean he takes care of veterans? According to Paul Rieckhoff, of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, not so much.
With a few days left before the vice presidential debate, Gov. Sarah Palin speaks with Katie Couric about her views concerning social and environmental issues.
This guy took a picture of himself every day for the last 17 years and then streamed the pictures into a 2 minute video. Imagine if Amy Winehouse tried this.
You know Adrian Pasdar from "Heroes"? This is him back in 1987, in a very cool cult classic. It's about a gang of vampires who roam Texas in search of their next meal. Pasdar falls for a cute girl in the gang, and winds up a member
"Baby Shaker" iPhone App Creators Think Infanticide Is Funny
AlexPorter, posted April 23, 2009, 05:09 PM
Apple has to approve all these apps. For shame.
Burger King Is Racist, Sexist, Inappropriate, and Apologetic
Burger King has provoked incredulity, disgust, outrage, and uncontrollable giggling with their latest kids meal ad, which spoofs Sir Mix-A-Lot's sexually-charged "Baby Got Back" video. Naturally, people freaked out when they saw a kids' cartoon character…
AlexPorter, posted April 17, 2009, 08:50 PM
Selling junk food on kiddies? Kinda criminal in any context.
Amy Poehler and Will Arnett Might Have the Cutest Baby Ever
Mostly, I'm relieved that Will Arnett and Amy Poehler happily had a baby, on purpose, as opposed to what happens to her character in the clip above. Poehler actually had Archie late last year, but he made his first public appearance this week. Normally, I…
AlexPorter, posted April 14, 2009, 08:34 PM
This may explain Arnett's appearance on Sesame St recently
"High School Musical" Cannot Be Over-Parodied on "SNL"
Seriously, it can't. Above, this weekend's latest take: Troy Bolton (Zac Efron) returns to East High to lay some harsh truths on the newest class of graduates. ("Word of advice: look at who you're talking to! Once you leave this school, no one projects or…
AlexPorter, posted April 13, 2009, 07:37 PM
"Rent" was way funnier.
"The Real Housewives of New Jersey" Preview Special: From The Bullpen
Brace yourself for Will and Tara's liveblog of the best reality show ever to make it to TV. (Sorry, New Jersey. This is going to sting a little.) 1:54:53 PM Will Edmondson: You had me at "Real Housewives," but "of NEW JERSEY," Bravo!? YOU'VE…
AlexPorter, posted April 10, 2009, 09:13 PM
I hadda put some lip glawss on just ta watch this.
Robots Take Stand Against Mankind, Establish Robotonia
AlexPorter, posted April 07, 2009, 08:38 PM
I want robots to scrub the scummy grout in bathroom, but not to replace me in the boudoir. It's a fear and desire thing.
Loud Coworkers Are Annoying
Hint, hint.
AlexPorter, posted April 07, 2009, 08:31 PM
Wow. All this time I thought everyone was besotted with my maniacal cackle.
Even Geese Hate AIG
What else can possibly said about this? Nothing. Just enjoy it.
AlexPorter, posted April 03, 2009, 10:48 PM
Geese are nasty. Case in point: green space along NYC's west side along the Hudson. Gaggles have taken over and peppered with enormous poops making picnics, sunning and romantic lounging impossible. The scientist who perfects a safe goose repellent? Epic hero.
"Friday Night Lights" Gets Renewed for Two Seasons!: From The Bullpen
[15:12] Will Edmondson: Guess what: "Friday Night Lights" is coming back -- for two more seasons. [15:12] Tara Ariano: WOOOOOOOOO!
AlexPorter, posted March 26, 2009, 08:55 PM
i don't follow this show and probably won't. yet i love these chats.
Bob Barker to Return to "The Price is Right" April 16
Legendary "Price is Right" host Bob Barker will return to his old show on April 16 to promote his autobiography, "Priceless Memories." Barker's appearance will probably overshadow his replacement Drew Carey, considering that the show is…
AlexPorter, posted March 25, 2009, 04:22 PM
The only scene in any Adam Sandler movie worth watching is one where he gets his ass kicked.
Curt Schilling Announces Retirement on His Blog
Curt Schilling announced his retirement on his blog 38Pitches today. The 42-year old pitcher had a 20-year major league career, and his 10-2 record in the postseason is regarded by some as the best ever. The famously-outspoken Schilling went out typically, saying…
AlexPorter, posted March 23, 2009, 11:01 PM
The baseball thing was cutting into his Everquest game.
Rachel Maddow Schools Letterman on the Economy, Charmingly
AlexPorter, posted March 17, 2009, 10:12 PM
Rachel Maddow would be a terrific replacement for Jon Stewart... if she were funny.
Countess/"Housewife" Luann de Lesseps Forces Me to Ask: What Is a Countess?
Countess Luann de Lesseps loves to regale her "Housewife" subjects with lessons of etiquette, justifying her expertise with her aristocratic title. You see, the Connecticut-born Countess married into the family who presented the Statue of Liberty to…
AlexPorter, posted March 11, 2009, 09:01 PM
Count Count is always correcting my pronunciation of certain numerals, too.
"Real Housewife" Alex McCord and Husband Simon Prove Money Can't Buy Class
"Real" New Yorker Alex McCord and her husband Simon live in a (decrepit) Brooklyn brownstone, complete with water-damaged ceilings and crumbling floors. In one episode, when fellow "Housewife" Fran Drescher Bethenny Frankel dropped by to celebrate McCord's son's…
AlexPorter, posted March 10, 2009, 09:32 PM
More than the state of their house, these two are nuts.
I Finally Figured Out What Twitter's For
What are you doing? _____________________________ _____________________________ robbtodd: I’m gazing at my navel robbtodd: I’m gazing at my navel robbtodd: I’m gazing at my navel robbtodd: I’m gazing at my navel robbtodd:…
AlexPorter, posted February 23, 2009, 06:02 PM
...also gazing in the mirror and basking in my amazing fabulosity.
Bloomberg News: "Narcissists With MBAs Killed Wall Street"
AlexPorter, posted February 18, 2009, 07:10 PM
I'm as thrilled as the next guy to see a bunch of fratty, self-satisfied, toolbags exposed for their lameness. Just not at the expense of, y'know, healthcare, infrastructure, national security, employment, housing, etc., etc., ad nauseam.
"I Know You! You're Dead! We Killed You!"
There isn't an entertainment product on this earth that will entirely sate me until "Crank 2: High Voltage," but here's something that could come close: "ROBOCOP"! (The movie title isn't actually in all-caps, though IT COULD BE: IT'S THAT…
AlexPorter, posted February 17, 2009, 02:52 AM
I'm ready for Paul Verhooven to remake this film. And while he's at it, I'm ready for another hit of Total Recall.
Unleashed: The 2009 Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
AlexPorter, posted February 12, 2009, 02:14 AM
if it weren't so degrading to canines, i'd love it. bitches is off the leash.
Everybody Wang Chung Tonight
Yes, Alexander Wang has created a limited-edition designer condom. This represents a serious public-health initiative that could prevent unwanted pregnancies and potentially save lives. So can we please all try to be grownups and stop giggling at the fact…
AlexPorter, posted February 10, 2009, 05:34 PM
Thanks, Tara! I got a great cackled out of this. Who knew a reference to Wang Chung was all it would take to brighten my day?
Octuplet Mom: "I'll Stop My Life for Them"
So says Nadya Suleman in this preview of her "Today" show interview, scheduled to run on Monday. To which the only response is, "yeah you will!" Blithely ignoring Ann Curry's hushed scolding, Suleman casts herself as a woman unfairly…
AlexPorter, posted February 06, 2009, 11:12 PM
She has enough money to pay for all those fertility treatments and crap plastic surgery.
Can The Small Screen Contain A Talent As Huge As Diddy's?
Time will tell: as the clip above details, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs will make his primetime TV acting debut in an upcoming episode of "CSI: Miami." Of course, Diddy is no stranger to the legal system, so he should be well prepared to go…
AlexPorter, posted February 06, 2009, 07:18 PM
Diddy's Enlightened Monarchy Home Theater hits the market next year; it features a wrap around screen continuously jets cologne and blue smoke
Burger King's FLAME Body Spray Reaches $102 on eBay; Should I Sell?
Burger King has made the news recently for the $200 burger they're selling in the U.K., but also (and more importantly) for FLAME, the body spray they've released in New York. FLAME has since sold out at all Ricky's locations in the city and online, and…
AlexPorter, posted January 30, 2009, 09:50 PM
sell!
New Deal for Baby Names
AlexPorter, posted January 27, 2009, 09:39 PM
Mark my words: This spring we'll welcome a generation of Vendetta Dieteria Urethras into the world.
VideoPresidential Inauguration - Live
Live from Washington, DC: The 2009 Presidential Inauguration
AlexPorter, posted January 20, 2009, 05:07 PM
tremendous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
George W. Bush Farewell Bingo
President George W. Bush will take to the airwaves tonight at 8 p.m. ET to give his farewell address, and I'm a little ticked off about it. Politics aside, the guy's going to take up 15 minutes of our Thursday primetime TV schedule. Yeah, it'll be kind of…
AlexPorter, posted January 15, 2009, 10:03 PM
"And maybe a comparitive FDR Bingo board for comparison to the 21st century constitutinally illegal 'Saviour'." wha?
My War On "Tara"
The pilot episode of "United States Of Tara" is online (ten days in advance of its premiere on that other box you sometimes use to watch TV shows), and as the office's only Tara, I felt it incumbent upon me to review it, though the character pronounces…
AlexPorter, posted January 08, 2009, 08:30 PM
The trailer for Juno alone was enough to keep me away. Bummer about the namesakes. My parents were torn between Jenna, Crystal and Amber. I escaped all 3 when I arrived a brunette.
With A Dry Cool Wit Like That, I Could Be An Action Hero
I would like to recreate for you the experience of seeing "Role Models" in the theatre with me. First, watch the trailer above. Then come back here. Me: "More like 'The Uninterested.'" But seriously, good luck to…
AlexPorter, posted January 08, 2009, 08:16 PM
Gary Oldman only to took this role to get a Squirmy Award nomination.
Get "Scared Straight" with Florrie Fisher
30 years ago, director Arnold Shapiro filmed some teenage delinquents getting schooled by a bunch of "lifers" at Rahway State Prison in New Jersey. The result was the Oscar-winning documentary "Scared Straight!" Based on the clips from…
AlexPorter, posted January 01, 2009, 04:29 AM
a really old guy i know told me he saw this when he was in jr. high and it scared him from smoking grass for like 2 months. and then he saw florrie fisher and he suddenly realized that the fabric of the space/time continuum was rumpled and life was a funhouse freak show without acid. blarg, thanks for shining a spotlight on florrie again. righteous.
A Tribble Is the Only Love That Money Can Buy
Tribbles turned 41 on Monday, but the environmental message of "The Trouble with Tribbles" episode still resonates: watch out for invasive species, even if they are supercute. But there is also a fuzzy, purring message of love in this episode. In the end,…
AlexPorter, posted December 31, 2008, 08:08 PM
What's amazing is how downright hot Shatner is surrounded by furballs. I want a calendar with him in briefs cuddling a different tribble every month.
Madoff Is Robbed, Thieves Have Last Laugh
Swindler extraordinaire Bernie Madoff reported that someone had stolen a large $10,000 statue from the backyard of his Palm Beach home. The sculpture depicted two full-sized lifeguards perched atop a tall chair. Aah, I can't help but say it: too bad they…
AlexPorter, posted December 30, 2008, 11:16 PM
Really, where the hell DID all that money go? Any reports of his assets and what got seized? You could flush 100s down the toilet day and night and never unload that much dough.
This Scout Is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, Reverent, And Possibly Has A Touch Of OCD
Now THAT is a scouting enthusiast: Shawn Goldsmith, of Long Island, NY, has earned all 121 merit badges available to a Boy Scout. He should Be Prepared...to get a wedgie when he goes back to school. But seriously, that is impressive. I think I had about ten…
AlexPorter, posted December 30, 2008, 08:04 PM
God bless Adderall.
3-Year-Old Adolf Hitler's Tale of Birthday Cake Woe
Adolf Hitler Campbell is 3 years old and lives with his parents and sisters JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell (named for Heinrich Himmler) in Milford, Pennsylvania. When it came time for Adolf's birthday celebration, his…
AlexPorter, posted December 18, 2008, 02:59 AM
That is so wrong! ShopRite did an excellent job on my Idi Musolini Stalin Pol Pot b-day cake.
Don Rickles is Still Alive
I don't know why I find that so surprising ... other than that he's 947 years old. After all, WillECoyote just documented that he was alive a month ago, but I was certain Rickles would have kicked the bucket between now and then. Forget about adding whey…
AlexPorter, posted December 18, 2008, 02:54 AM
Damn. Got all but one. Can we play Dead or Canadian next?
Of COURSE Pete Wentz Got a Bulldog and Named it "Hemingway"
Congratulations to the producers of "The Dog Whisperer" for determining the one thing that would make me miss an episode. Normally, I love watching Cesar Millan judging people for their bad decisions -- same when I watch Jo Frost on "Supernanny" or…
AlexPorter, posted December 18, 2008, 01:59 AM
what a toolbag.
VideoRap Battle Gone Bad Translated (3:38)
A couple months ago we posted the Rap Battle Gone Bad. For those of you who didn't understand what was said to cause the fight this is the translation.
AlexPorter, posted December 17, 2008, 08:08 PM
nice way to flip the script on the old nerdy white guys reciting rap lyrics gag.
Offensive David Paterson "SNL" Sketch Made Me Laugh Anyway
SNL finally got a new governor to kick around! Well, two, actually, although only New York Gov David Paterson got the full treatment this weekend. That's kind of an honor, right? Except what about the Mr. Magoo -level jokes about Paterson's blindness? Paterson…
AlexPorter, posted December 15, 2008, 10:10 PM
I can't SEE what's so amusing, here. Are these SNL people so BLINDLY insensitive?
Advent Calendar: Dec. 15
AlexPorter, posted December 15, 2008, 10:07 PM
Would you settle for a bottle of fox urine?
Television Briefly Holds Own with Internet as Cute Puppy Video Disseminator
The Internet is by far the most efficient delivery system for cute animal pics and videos the world has ever known. Indeed, the ease with which the Web allows one to savor all manner of monkey jockeys, toilet-flushing cats and piano hamsters has led to…
AlexPorter, posted December 15, 2008, 10:02 PM
Hasn't PeTA lobbied hard against puppy dissemination?
I Loved High School
High school girls have a terrible reputation. According to movies, TV, and just about every media outlet, they are spiteful meanies who do terrible things like engineer en masse underage pregnancies (see video above). The appeal of the teen-girl dustup is…
AlexPorter, posted December 14, 2008, 05:32 AM
Agree. It's time we all acknowledged that teen girls are every bit the pustular, hormone-oozing laundry bags of narcissism that teen boys are.
Interning for Dummies (and Liars)
Not too many years ago, fake-memoirist James Frey's "runaway imagination" caused a storm of controversy that made Oprah hopping mad. Amongst the author's harshest critics were the bloggers at Gawker, who ruthlessly mocked him to no end. What's a…
AlexPorter, posted December 13, 2008, 12:23 AM
Prez Hilton and Ariana Huffington will be starting as interns at Sling next semester. Just in time. My rickshaw driver is on sabbatical.
Advent Calendar: Dec. 11
AlexPorter, posted December 13, 2008, 12:06 AM
Wtf!?? She didn't even mention My Lil' Meth Lab and My Lil' Sweat Shop!
Save Rooney!
With each passing day bringing so many media layoffs that New York Magazine's Daily Intelligencer blog has created a "Media Death Watch" category, it should hardly surprise anyone that CBS is the latest outfit rumored to make major staff reductions. If…
AlexPorter, posted December 12, 2008, 11:58 PM
He's gone from being annoying to being a charming relic. Hope they don't put him out to pasture... unless that pasture has a webcam where he can rail into his 90's about being flummoxed by newfangled doohickeys and hornswaggled by chicanery, skullduggery and tomfoolery. The Web is where he needs to retire.
From Recession with Love
AlexPorter, posted December 10, 2008, 10:32 PM
Schwab toolbag is part of clever new strategy called anti-advertising. The commercial is so painful and annoying you never forget it. Not unlike getting raped with a white-hot poker
Living (And Mocking) Oprah
The Julie/Julia Project, in which writer Julie Powell set out to attempt every recipe in Julia Child's legendary cookbook "The Art Of French Cooking," blogging her efforts all the while, has succeeded beyond anyone's reasonable expectations: not…
AlexPorter, posted December 08, 2008, 03:14 AM
Yeah, somebody needs to cut Oprah's cheesiest platitudes into one of those Daily Show montages. But who the hell is Kathy Griffin accuse anyone of being disingenuous? She fronts as a woman we all know she's a pre-op tranny.
Bangladeshi Jenga
Can someone from Hasbro please tell this guy that you don't have to play Jenga on your head? And if he has to play on his head, can someone tell him there are lighter and less painful options than cement bricks? Oh, and you don't have to play on a rickety boat…
AlexPorter, posted November 25, 2008, 05:38 PM
The average American laborer is twice this guy's weight, carries half as much, and whines when McD's doesn't add the extra pickles he ordered.
All Hope Abandon, Ye
It’s almost 2009 and pirates are still hijacking ships. Did you just hear what I said? I mean, did you just read what I wrote? There are pirates on the high seas! How is that possible with the weapons and technology we have today? Walking the plank is so…
AlexPorter, posted November 18, 2008, 08:05 PM
I heart this post so much; it is the wing beneath my wings. I could build my world around it.
Choose Your Own Soundtrack
AlexPorter, posted November 18, 2008, 08:03 PM
Strawberry Shortcake theme. No idea what that sounds like, but I'd bet my first born it'll work nice with this clip.
New Kids in the House
I know that even some Obama supporters might be getting sick of all this gushing. But I feel especially sad for you if you hate that he got elected. Ouch. Must hurt. A lot. Sorry, though, I just can’t stop being happy yet. There are going to be little black…
AlexPorter, posted November 06, 2008, 12:16 AM
so great. jeez i'm getting choked up again....
McCain-Obama Dance-Off!
Everyone figure out who they're voting for? Great. That gives us twelve whole days to horse around with dance contests, wrasslin' matches, chili cook-offs and whatever other fun competitions we can come up with. Come on, America, you've earned it - why…
AlexPorter, posted October 24, 2008, 03:09 PM
genius
A Light-Hearted Romp in WWII-Era Europe
Hey Mel Gibson, what’s the only thing better than a Jewish joke? That’s right, an animated Jewish joke set in Nazi-era Europe. Don't worry, its got a talking dog and a baby, no one will be offended. Why don’t we take a break from this Malibu sobriety test…
AlexPorter, posted October 22, 2008, 02:22 AM
McCain/Palin pins on a Nazi. Wow. This ain't Fox News.
"CSI: Miami" Flashback Awards
And the award for least-convincing portrayal of distress in a "CSI: Miami" flashback goes to...
AlexPorter, posted October 20, 2008, 06:55 PM
Holy crap! That's Mr. Clean in that flashback. And wait, how come she's wearing the same thing in the present and past?
Taking Care of Veterans
John McCain is a war hero. Yeah, we all got that. Does that mean he takes care of veterans? According to Paul Rieckhoff, of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, not so much.
AlexPorter, posted October 17, 2008, 03:25 AM
oo much hollow rhetoric about vets from politicians. He's actually doing something to help 'em. Aces.
VideoWorst Week - The Monitor
Sam's friend Adam visits the Clayton's house, and immediately falls in lust with Mel's sister, which annoys Dick
AlexPorter, posted October 09, 2008, 03:50 PM
how come these schlubs always have hot wives and girlfriends?
VideoHer Head on Her Body (1:33)
The answer to the question every guy has always wondered about.
AlexPorter, posted October 06, 2008, 04:06 PM
Classy.
VideoGangsta Knocks Out Gentleman (1:01)
Always take a gangsta over a gentleman. A sucker punch beats a tight rhyme any day.
AlexPorter, posted October 02, 2008, 10:29 PM
need a little more context.
Whore & Gore
Am I going deaf? Jenna Jameson is discussing her flick “Zombie Stripper” and she keeps talking about whore movies.
AlexPorter, posted October 02, 2008, 06:25 AM
The whore movie is one of the most under-appreciated genres in all filmdom after midget rock opera.
VideoPalin Sets The Record Straight (9:33)
With a few days left before the vice presidential debate, Gov. Sarah Palin speaks with Katie Couric about her views concerning social and environmental issues.
AlexPorter, posted October 02, 2008, 01:02 AM
How can you simultaneously not care if global warming is man made and still be terribly concerned that we deal with it? This is bs.
VideoRedneck Woman Rails on Obama (3:18)
In case you were wondering why Obama has a snowball's chance in hell, listen to this average Southerner talk about him and the A-rabs.
AlexPorter, posted October 02, 2008, 12:23 AM
God bless America and the it's little pinheaded children.
Video17 Years In 2 Minutes (1:59)
This guy took a picture of himself every day for the last 17 years and then streamed the pictures into a 2 minute video. Imagine if Amy Winehouse tried this.
AlexPorter, posted September 27, 2008, 04:26 AM
he held up pretty well.
I Heart You Kenneth
There’s just something endearing about an effeminate Southerner. Kenneth’s like your fun gay friend, but not gay. Maybe. It’s unclear.
AlexPorter, posted September 12, 2008, 06:48 PM
har
VideoCloset
Benson finds herself defending her relationship and her job.
AlexPorter, posted September 10, 2008, 01:33 AM
I'm an SVU convert after watching these clips. This show is amazingly skeevy.
VideoXanadu
Singing superstar Olivia Newton-John and silver screen dancing legend Gene Kelly team up in this charming, fantastical disco romp.
AlexPorter, posted August 30, 2008, 03:29 AM
The stanky ass end of the disco era.
VideoNear Dark
You know Adrian Pasdar from "Heroes"? This is him back in 1987, in a very cool cult classic. It's about a gang of vampires who roam Texas in search of their next meal. Pasdar falls for a cute girl in the gang, and winds up a member
AlexPorter, posted August 30, 2008, 03:16 AM
It's like half the cast of "Alien"
VideoAfrica: The Serengeti
James Earl Jones narrates filmmaker George Casey's spotlight on the region's natural beauty and timeless cycles.
AlexPorter, posted August 30, 2008, 02:56 AM
Dig that James Earl Jones VO.