Man-meat cougar plaything Ashton Kutcher hosted this week's episode of "Saturday Night Live," and he did a good job of it! Check out this week's recap after the jump.

This week's "Modern Family" began with Haley freaking out after seeing her boyfriend at an Anne Hathaway movie with another girl. Claire, meanwhile, is nervous about meeting up with an intimidating old friend played by Minnie Driver, who is basically a big deal career woman now, with a million boyfriends in different countries and a convincing American accent. And Phil, after seeing a bus ad for his real estate services defaced with a drawn-on mustache, experiments with the look by sticking on a fake handlebar that he finds in the house with other Halloween accessories. More of this week's recap after the jump!

This week's episode of "The Office" featured cameos-a-poppin'. Not the necklace cameos, though I like those in case you're aiming for a mid-Winter present exchange. I mean celebrity cameos! This week brought our sore eyes the sight of Kathy Bates, Christian Slater, and UCB wunderkind Zach Woods, who's also in the fantastic "In The Loop," which was nominated this week for the "Best Screenplay" Academy Award. Hi Zach! Keep soaring as high as your height, you magnificent beanstalk. More of this week's recap after the jump!

The drama was flowing like BLOOD on last night's episode of "Grey's Anatomy," which is a show about doctors in a hospital, in case you were thinking my simile wasn't totally genius. First of all, a patient woke up in the middle of surgery, which is nightmare fuel. And guess what? She was hugely pissed about it. Bailey and Meredith got an earful of "Oh, I smelled my own burning flesh" and "Oh, I'm really upset about the thing everybody is most frightened of, except for when it was the Middle Ages and they maybe gave you a bullet before they sawed your leg off." More of this week's recap after the jump!

Time goes by so quickly. Can you believe that in three days, it's already Puppy Bowl Sunday? I know! I barely have time to shop for Snausages and fill up all the water bowls in my rumpus room before kick-off. But the good news is that all my scrambling should pay off, because today the Animal Planet website announced its Puppy Bowl line-up, and from the looks of these contenders, it's going to be a great game. Starting in the field are Jersey Boy, a 12-week-old Yorkie mix, Mason, a Shepherd/Collie who looks like a bruiser, and Chamomile, whose "business face" belies her cozy name. The kittens in the kitty half-time show have yet to be announced, but you know how those girls like their privacy. I'm sure they'll do a memorable job of dodging water and batting string in time for my formidable wager on Bandit to pay off when he runs away with the game in the second half.

If you are a regular viewer of "The Evening News with Katie Couric," you know that Couric keeps a notebook. Obviously, it is decorated with awesome stickers and filled with deep secrets about how Brian Williams makes her feel (hint: it's like this). But sometimes, Katie's "Cour-nal" contains rants and chants and news and views, and last night, she gave us a taste of one of those four things when she read aloud from one of its pages about America's terrifying "Mancession." Get the full story after the jump.

So, here is a video of something called the Purina Pet Comedy Challenge, which is, unfortunately, not a competition featuring dogs doing stand-up. It also doesn't feature ferrets doing prop comedy or cats doing their one-woman shows they claim are humorous, but are really just performance art with built-in chances for them to break out into song.

But before you turn off your computer angrily and try to flush it down your huge toilet, let me try to sell you on this show. It features ten stand-up comedians doing "clean, family-friendly" comedy routines about pets, in front of a pretty incredible backdrop featuring the Purina logo and an illustration -- which looks like it was done in MacPaint -- of a cat and a dog wearing t-shirts, backwards baseball caps, and sunglasses, standing back to back with their arms crossed.

Where are you going? I have more to say about this video! It's hosted by an outgoing portly gentleman named Buzz Sutherland, who pronounces Purina "Puh-rina" and has a routine about how his two little kids had a fight about whether to name their puppy "Mustard" or "Ketchup." It was a story that didn't really go anywhere, but maybe the dogs liked it. (Oh, that's the other thing--the competition is NOT judged by dogs. So never mind what I said before.) So, after Buzz warmed up the non-dog crowd by speaking down to them as though they were dogs, a bunch of comedians came out and talked about gerbils and goldfish and stuff. And I got excited when Buzz announced Jerry Miner, because I thought he said Jerry Minor, who is great. Also, because those two names sound exactly alike? Anyway, Jerry Miner is a different person than Jerry Minor. The end.

Finally, because it's a challenge, one "winner" gets $10,000 and, most importantly, the title of "King or Queen of the Purina Pet Comedy Challenge," which basically makes you a member of the landed gentry. I will not tell you the identity of the King or Queen! That's not what I do. But I will say that at the end of the show, he or she (okay, he. It's a he) receives a giant check and keeps his acceptance speech short and sweet. "I guess we're getting another dog now!" Congrats! I think you should name it "Relish."

Betty White, who is a blessing and a legend in one hot little package that loves animals, continued her "being wonderful" streak when she recently sent her friend Rue McClanahan a card upon hearing McClanahan had suffered a stroke. "Dear Rue," it read. "I hope you hurry up and die so I can be the last Golden Girl left. NOT KIDDING." Haha! This would be a horrible thing to do if she were indeed not kidding, but it turns out that she was, because she is terrific and maybe a little bit insane. If you don't believe me, watch Betty in the "Chelsea Lately" clip above, talking about her visit to the zoo, Cloris Leachman, and how "we sluts have to stick together."

If you guys haven't heard by now, Pee-wee Herman is BACK, with a brand-new stage show at the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles, and hopefully soon in New York City (HELLO HINT AHEM AHEM COUGH COUGH SNEEZE). And according to the above clip from "Entertainment Tonight," the magic is back! Pee-wee looks great, Chairry looks the same -- Clockey could use another coat of varnish, but now I'm just being a jerk. Anyway, in this "ET" exclusive clip, we got a peek into just how much magic Pee-wee can bring when he paused his show to indulge a fan, Ben Zurawski, who'd written Pee-wee four months in advance to let him know he was planning to propose to Summer Violett, his girlfriend of five years. The two met online and bonded over their shared Pee-wee fandom, so it was only fitting that once Pee-wee called them up to the stage, Summer was already freaking out. And when Ben dropped to one knee, she burst into the kind of happy tears you're not used to seeing on anybody but Miss Yvonne, when the humidity causes her beehive to fall. This is a must-see, if only for the backstage footage once Ben pops the question; you get to see Jambi's head on an actor's body, and Pee-wee reacting with genuine delight to two fans of his in love. The secret word is "adorable."

Great news for fans of things that are great: Zach Galifianakis is set to host "Saturday Night Live" on March 6th! This can only bring great things to the world at large, and especially to Galifianakis (seen above, on CollegeHumor's "Michael Showalter Showwalter" ), who has been a red-hot lightning bolt of thundering hotness and redness since he played the part of "The Funniest Thing About 'The Hangover'" in the Golden Globe-winning, blockbuster motion picture, "The Hangover." But as everybody with his or her "ear" to the "ground" knows, Zach has always been the best. Even when he was beardless! Yes, that was a thing! Also, remember this Fiona Apple video? He's a treasure. Anyway, let's all tune in to "SNL" on March 6th and hope that Zach gets to play Orson Welles on a new installation of a Vincent Price special.