What do you get when you combine Tinkerbell from "Peter Pan," Ogie Ogilthorpe from "Slap Shot," and The Rock annihilating Stone Cold Steve Austin from WrestleMania XIX (above)? Why, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's next movie role in "The Tooth Fairy," naturally; a performance that surely will be one of the most important of our time. Johnson plays a tough minor league hockey player who does a bad thing, and as punishment, is forced to be the tooth fairy for a week. Like, the actual tooth fairy.

Normally a movie asks you to suspend disbelief about one, or maybe two details about its plot. So far, "The Tooth Fairy" has asked me to believe that The Rock can ice-skate, that someone can be sentenced into committing more breaking-and-entering misdemeanors, and that The Rock would tolerate being called a fairy...and I haven't even seen the trailer. But the best part of this movie without question is its poster, which you can see after the jump. The tooth hurts, indeed.

Dear Mickey Rourke,

Your surprise opening at the 25th anniversary of "Wrestlemania" was an impressive feat. Scheduled to attend only as a spectator, you were provoked by WWE star Chris Jericho, and gamely hopped into the ring to administer a few punches. Way to rally the crowd! Only ... you kicked Jericho's ass, and he was forced from the ring after your knockout punch. Yep, sucks to be him.

However, amidst the applause, let's not overlook the folly on your part. It was "professional" fighting that took down your acting career last time - remember the 1990s? Yeah, I didn't think so. As an actor, you should know better than to mess with those WWE scriptwriters, and as a wrestler, well - didn't you see the ending of your own movie?! You were lucky this time, but don't push this "comeback" stuff too far.

Love,

A concerned fan who thought you were much cuter in your "Pope of Greenwich Village" days