The only reason for you not to know that the NCAA basketball tournament started yesterday is if you woke up from a coma this morning. And even then -- you didn't ask for a USA Today? America is in the grip of March Madness, so for those of us who didn't use Howcast's advice, above, to fill out a bracket because we don't care about sports, this can be a lonely time. Fortunately, the internet has stepped in to offer alternatives. See a few after the jump.

Today, as you probably know, is Sports Christmas, also known as the first day of the first round of the NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Championship Tournament. If you don't understand why today is Sports Christmas, I invite you to participate in an exercise: Take a walk around your office and count how many of your co-workers have blank spreadsheets open and headphones on. Or are shamelessly streaming the tournament from NCAA.com. Or are smiling and giggling to themselves with their brackets on their desks. Award each example of one of these cases a point. If, after returning to your desk, you have less than five points, congratulations! You work at the IRS. Or NPR.

But seriously, today is basically a national holiday, and it should be respected as such. Take our own Commander-in-Chief, whose bracket is above. As you can see, he doesn't like Purdue in the first round, but he's big on Cornell (Go Red). Talk about an out-of-touch elitist. He also likes Duke to go deep into the tournament, which MSNBC believes is out of loyalty to his right-hand man, former Duke player Reggie Love. That, friends, is the bracket equivalent of pork-barrel politics. But enough snark: In the spirit of Sports Christmas, this is a time for peace and love. Enjoy the games, everybody.

Tiger Woods has just announced that he plans to return to the PGA Tour to compete in the 2010 Masters tournament, which begin April 8. Woods said in a statement, "The Masters is where I won my first major and I view this tournament with great respect. After a long and necessary time away from the game, I feel like I'm ready to start my season at Augusta." This is of course only part of the Tiger news this week; though "The View" notes above that he and his wife Elin have reportedly moved back in with each other, Radar Online then contradicted their scoop yesterday. This is exhausting, but I can help: For all the tiger news you need, click here.

Last night, "Greek" aired its Valentine's Day episode -- and only over a week after the actual holiday! But never mind; if we can deal with all those "Simpsons" Halloween specials airing in November, we can hang with this too. And in the spirit of the show's academic setting, I'll be grading some of the episode's key elements, after the jump.

Obviously, most of the attention of the world's sports fans has been devoted to the winter Olympics, but this morning Tiger Woods will attempt to pull some of that focus to himself: he will be addressing the public in a press conference, and apologizing for his multiple marital infidelities. Friend of the site Linda Holmes has a pretty great pre-cap of what he'll probably say over at NPR's Monkey See blog -- and if you want to see how closely her predictions line up with Woods's statement, watch it after the jump.

The best thing about the Olympics is when they are over. That's when you can begin to savor all the memories, and pack them away so that years later you can date yourself and have kids look at you weird. "Bruce Jenner was somebody before he had gross plastic surgery and married Kim Kardashian's mom?" So with that in mind, after the jump are video explanations of "The Office" cast's favorite Olympic memories.

Warning: What follows is an ode by a 23-year-old "frat boy" concerning Brooklyn Decker, the recently-announced 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover model. "Brace for uncouth male chauvinism and cringing," you wince. But, nope! I'm not going to talk about what Decker looks like in this forum, though I assure you it is not lost on me or any other red-blooded heterosexual American male. What I'd like to draw attention to is this: Brooklyn Decker is delightful to listen to as well, because she seems very gracious and nice!

Above is a clip of her on "Today" this morning, talking to Al Roker and Meredith Vieira. She talks about her experience finding out that she was on the cover, the picture itself, and generally how awesome it is to be for a model to land the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover (she likens it to the Saints winning the Super Bowl). She then goes on to talk about her husband, Andy Roddick, who I'm sure is also a nice guy when he's not swearing at tennis umpires while pretending to thank an appreciative Australian Open crowd. Uh oh. I'm just going to stop now before I get in trouble. But, Brooklyn, I'm sure my grandmother would enjoy conversing with a very nice lady like you very much.

It sucks to be a man. Women make them shop for undies and smell candles, and their bosses make them sit in boring meetings and do all kinds of stuff they hate. Given the chance, a man would trade his wife for a good set of tires so he can drive over the speed limit to somewhere that has snacks and beer. In fact, in the face of doom, the only thing that can save the world is beer. And animals love cars as much as men do. And women love babies, Paris, and book clubs. And men hate being around women -- unless those women have beer. And Hollywood only produces remakes or movies based on videogames. Men love videogames, especially if they are violent.

This is the overarching narrative of Sunday's Super Bowl ads. If you believe that the people shelling out millions for these spots have done their research and targeted the audience well, this is the country we live in: Men feel castrated by modern society and are on their way to fatal obesity and a 12-step program -- alone in a speeding car.

After the jump is a breakdown of the ads that aired during the Super Bowl, which attracted an estimated 106.5 million people. That makes it the most watched television in history. Sorry "M*A*S*H." Football is the new king.

We scored this exclusive chat with "Puppy Bowl" referee Andrew Schecher, who has presided over Animal Planet's annual puppy competition for the past three years. He dropped some crazy spoilers about this year's show (hint: bunnies and hamsters!), and shared his secrets for remaining impartial in the face of overpowering puppy cuteness. Read the full interview, after the jump.

With the Super Bowl coming up this weekend, there was plenty of fodder for football-related humor on last night's talk shows. Jimmy Kimmel took it upon himself to air a rebuttal to Tim Tebow's pro-life ad that showcases the fact that unplanned pregnancies don't all result with pro-football players (above). Meanwhile, Jay Leno chatted about the upcoming Super Bowl halftime show, which will feature classic rock band The Who. See his predictions about their performance, after the jump.