New Yorkers always try to play like they're so hard, but let a little snow fall on the ground and they knit fingerless hobo gloves and slice open Tauntauns to survive. The whole city shuts down; kids pelt each other with dirty snowballs while all the powder turns to sooty, salty brown slush. L.A. is laughing at you, New York City. Laughing. It's a little over the top. But since everyone is freaking out, after the jump are 11 ways to survive Snowpocalypse '10.

In "Even Chimps Can Get a Show On TV These Days" news, the BBC will broadcast the first film ever shot entirely by chimpanzees, as part of a natural history documentary. The footage was shot as part of a research study concerning how chimpanzees, like the one in the above episode of "The Addams Family," perceive the world, and each other. Eleven chimps living in a special zoo enclosure participated over the course of 18 months with a specially designed "chimp-proof" camera that looks a bit like a lunchbox with a TV built into it. The final result of the project is a special called "Chimpcam," which airs this Wednesday in Britain.

Now, if you're like me, you have a billiion questions about this story spinning around in your head. All this chimp-related information in one place has internally replicated the sensation of dizziness, and also, somehow, the smell of bananas. But here are a couple of questions I have, after the jump!

This morning, "Today" aired a segment about "coping with your co-workers" that began with some footage of Meredith Vieira interacting with NBC's hoi polloi. If we are to believe this video, it seems that she heats her lunch in the same microwave as her NBC minions, helps herself to the office candy jar, and makes her own photocopies. And no, we're not the only ones calling bullsh*t: Matt Lauer immediately begins making fun of her. "That's the first time you've actually mingled with the people in the office, isn't it?" he asked. "It's nice to see you out of your ivory tower."

Obviously, Meredith can't come up with a very good comeback, so she just acts good-naturedly annoyed, and then out of nowhere Matt leans over and smooches her on the cheek! On camera, in front of everybody! This clearly wasn't planned, and Meredith seems nonplussed. She then playfully swats at Matt, and pretends to be grossed out, third-grade playground-style.

Ladies and gents, I think we all know what this means: the next segment is going to be about "crushing on your co-workers," and will show Meredith helping herself to a different kind of office candy jar (wink wink!). I can see it already: Meredith and Matt smiling at each other while making photocopies together, Meredith and Matt microwaving their lunches at the same time, Meredith and Matt sharing a lollipop...or maybe the cheek kiss is all we need to see for now, on second thought.

Beep boop! Do you ever wonder whether dieting would be easier if robots could help us do it? Of course you do not! Like most normal people, you spend most of your time thinking about ways robots could serve as our euphemistic "companions." But what if they could also help us get to a weight that didn't disgust other humans? I know, it would negate all the time you've wasted imagining the perfect robot sex partner. But maybe that's a good thing? And maybe it's not. I'm not your shrink or your priest!

Meet Autom, whose name is pronounced "Autumn," but because she is a lady robot, or "DietBot," she spells her name "Autom," which is short for "Automatic," I think. Autom, who I have to admit is sort of sexy, helps people to record calorie intake and exercise logs on her tummy, which looks like the screen of a palm pilot.

Autom is from China, like most robots, and in a study of people trying to lose weight, those who used Autom to do it ("it" means diet; GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER) stayed on their diets for five weeks longer than those who used the same software on a computer. That's all the proof I need to insist that our goverment's new health care plan include provisions for DietBot assignments to every American trying to lose weight, and to the remaining citizens of this great land who merely want to hang out with -- and possibly make out with -- a comely replicant. Beep boop!

There is something about being great-looking that really does help you get away with almost anything -- as long as what you are getting away with involves other great-looking people. TMZ has a photo that experts say shows JFK on a yacht in the Mediterranean with beautiful naked women while his pregnant wife was being rushed to the hospital. More after the jump.

At last, the world is flat once more! And not just because Thomas Friedman says so. A much more important person has flattened the world: a dude who makes maps. This is the scariest news since someone decided that Pluto is not a planet.

At least this revelation came in time for Christmas. Let's hope someone gives the new map to Santa and let him open it early. It will, no doubt, help him to plot a more efficient course and save some reindeer gas. But he might just want to skip Prague this year. Find out why after the jump.

The sleeping dog in the video above is the embodiment of 2009. Watch his legs pump faster and faster even though he's not getting anywhere. (Familiar feeling.) Is the dog dreaming about chasing a car tire? Or a rabbit? Or Johnny Depp? Could be. But it might be more sinister than that. When its head bolts up, it snaps backwards, like something is on its tail -- like it is being chased. And even when it is on its feet and awake, it is so delirious with fear that it keeps running and slams its head into a wall. Ouch. And, "Heh."

Thank goodness for pop culture. Otherwise, there would have been no way to survive the worst and final year of The Aughts, the decade that brought us endless war, global financial collapse, the end of those pesky polar ice caps, the death of Michael Jackson, and "Two and a Half Men." Maybe it was all just a bad dream, like the dog was having. Or not. But look -- and this is important -- not everything sucked during the past year. It just seems that way. Click "continue reading."

It's a little late to cash in on the buzz from that nasty cup and those two nasty girls, but a toilet-themed restaurant in Beijing is trying. You really have to see its soft-serve. It's chocolate, promise...served in a plastic urinal. But it gets better/worse. One of the items on its menu is called "Our Famed Constipation." Nope, it's not a brick of cheese. It's just deep-fried potatoes. That actually sounds pretty tasty.

Then there is Fabio Viviani. Poor Fabio. His charm certainly extended his stay on "Top Chef" by a few extra episodes, but a critic who visited his new restaurant in North Hollywood slammed it pretty hard. Here's a pop quiz. Is this quote from a review of Fabio's restaurant or the toilet restaurant? "The idea of combining excrement and food is nothing new." The answer is after the jump.

Somebody find seventeen tiny medals! Or, if you can't find tiny medals, please find seventeen tiny cowboy hats for these puppies to wear, because the hats at least will make them look funny.

Whatever they are adorned with, we can all agree that honor is due to the 17 pups whose brave whimpering tipped police off to the contents of a car belonging to a couple of thugs who stole them from a Melbourne pet shop.

I can't believe how dumb pet thieves are nowadays. Don't they know that pups will whimper? You can't just stash them in a car while you go off and run your other crime errands! Because one pup is going to start squirming and squealing, and that will provoke another pup to do the same, and then maybe the third will have a pee, and then the fourth will chew on the door handle because she's teething like nobody's beeswax, and the fifth might go napsies for a bit on the front seat after sniffing it for twenty minutes, but by the time we're up to the seventeenth puppy, that pup be whimperin'! I've seen it happen! And it's always delightful. But sometimes it's illegal! And as a person with a functioning moral compass, I'm proud to say that I love puppies as much as I hate crime.

Therefore, a hearty "kadooze" to the men and women of the Melbourne police force for hearing the cries of Australia's furriest little non-wombat heroes, removing the precious stolen cargo from that horrible-smelling vehicle and returning those heroic pups to the pet shop from which they came. And, puppies: May all seventeen of you be adopted by Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban.

"Early Show" host Harry Smith was so thorough in his Julia Child impression this morning that Maggie Rodriguez's Adam Lampert costume didn't stand a chance. Meryl Streep, watch your back! I never knew that Harry was such a ham, or that he was so flagrantly disrespectful of health codes. In the video above, he cracks a raw egg all over the "Early Show" kitchen countertop, and then picks it up with his bare hands. As if that didn't give me the queasies already (I only just started eating peanut products again), he then then wiped his eggy hands all over fellow anchor Lonnie Quinn's rather nice-looking suit. Worst of all, he cracked another egg on poor Lonnie's HEAD! I know that egg protein is supposed to be beneficial for one's hair, but Lonnie's tresses look like they were doing just fine on their own, for whatever it's worth. Anyway, in retrospect, Meryl edges out Harry's performance due to her ability to actually become other people (for all we know, the above video could be Meryl acting as Harry acting as Julia -- wouldn't that be awesome?!), but Harry wins major points for his improv skills.