This week's is the first episode of "The Bachelor" that does NOT feature Jake, who is by the way a pilot, taking his date for a ride on a plane or helicopter. But there are still plenty of stupid monsters on this show that claim to want to be his wife! That much has remained the same from weeks past.

This week, the host, whose name I refuse to learn, takes the ladies out of the McMansion where they've been staying, and shows them two RV's in the parking lot, to which they respond enthusiastically. They're told they're going to be living in the trailers from now on, and they are still excited for some reason! They are to go on some sort of road trip, and Jake rides up the California coast in his AWESOME MOTORCYCLE, to meet them. Haha! Jake: whether it's flying planes or riding hogs, you truly are a thrill-seeking idiot. Have at him, ladies! More of this week's recap after the jump!

Marilyn Crawford is an accomplished marketing CEO whose interest in fashion led her to become a contestant on "Launch My Line." And while last night's episode (in full, above) featured the high of a guest appearance by Lady Gaga, the low for Marilyn involved her balky expert, Coco, and the way their divergent visions for an avant-garde garment inspired by a pair of sunglasses resulted in Marilyn's elimination. After the jump, Marilyn discusses her background, her management style, and how her experience working with Coco wasn't like its portrayal on the show -- "It was ten times worse."

When the news broke yesterday on TMZ that actress Brittany Murphy had passed away, of an apparent heart attack, some online pop culture commentators -- like Lindsay Robertson of NYMag.com's Vulture blog, and Dlisted.com's Michael K. -- had hopes it might turn out to be a hoax. But the story of Murphy's death was also, unfortunately, true.

Murphy's first screen credit was a role on the CBS sitcom "Murphy Brown," when she was in her early teens, but her career took off in earnest when she was cast as Tai in the 1995 comedy "Clueless," opposite Alicia Silverstone. She went on to star in such films as the Eminem vehicle "8 Mile," "Girl Interrupted," and "Sin City"; for more than a decade, she also provided the voice of Luanne Platter on Fox's "King of the Hill."

Details on what could have led to the cardiac arrest that ended Murphy's life are still few, though an autopsy will be performed this week.

2:46:37 PM Will Edmondson: So, thanks to some careful finagling and a super secret movie theater location, we were able to escape the hoarde of Michael Jackson fans and properly enjoy "This Is It" last night.
2:47:48 PM Tara Ariano: Ssssh, don't give away our pro-tips! But yes, other than one slightly too enthusiastic patron directly behind us, our screening of "This Is It" was dead silent and very pleasant.
2:48:49 PM Will Edmondson: Oh -- well, yes. But I meant that I was allowed to wear my rhinestone glove and bright red leather jacket and be accompanied by my pet chimp, Tara. I am a Michael Jackson FAN!
2:49:08 PM Tara Ariano: Wait. Your pet chimp is also named Tara? I thought you were talking to me!
2:49:43 PM Will Edmondson: Quiet, human Tara. Chimp Tara is teaching me how to play "PYT" on the spoons.

Did you buy tickets to see "This Is It" on opening night, only to stay home to watch the Yankees in the World Series instead? It looks like you made the right call: Sony added another two weeks to the run of "This Is It." The footage from the King of Pop's last rehearsals before his death will remain in theaters until the end of Thanksgiving weekend...but now you have another choice to make. You can go see it with your family, or you can keep this a secret and sneak off to see it by yourself when you need a two-hour break from speaking to old people. It's a tough decision, but keep in mind that if your grandparents go with you, consider how they'll come out of the theater wanting to make up for time they sat in silence.

Summer (or for the purpose of this post, "The Summer of Death") officially ended over a month ago. By now, we're supposed to understand and accept the rest of our lives won't have any Walter Cronkite or Michael Jackson in them. But seriously, does anybody else need a little more time to process these terrible losses? Think about how bleak our future is looking: electric guitars aren't going to get any cooler or come in any more weird shapes because their inventor, Les Paul, died in August. Dancing will never be as dirty as it once was because Patrick Swayze (whose career is profiled above) isn't around anymore. And UGH! "Crime and Punishment" might as well be "Crime and Who Cares" because we lost Dominick Dunne. (Look at that last paragraph: there are five people in it.)

Isn't there a way we can properly acknowledge each and every person we'll miss, while working to ease the grief by enjoying something delicious? Why, yes, there most certainly is a way. It's after the jump.

Ah, Halloween: the rustling leaves, the crisp air, the glorious ubiquity of candy corn...and the resuming of the "Slut-o-Ween" debate. As usual, there's a new crop of "sexy" options befitting the events and themes of 2009: "Sexy Michael Jackson," "Sexy Sponge Babe," and "Sexy Environmentalist," to name a few (sooo 2008: Sarah Palin, obviously). Of course, plenty of folks are a-grumble about the indecency of it all -- shouldn't one be able to walk down the street without getting an eyeful of the Sexy Astronaut's butt? Here in New York City, we see these sorts of things all year round, which means that the debate becomes more about how to be sexy yet original. See, if you manage to be sexy and ironic/creative/witty about it, then you can wear a patent-leather thigh-highs and still keep your self-respect. As Jezebel explains, we may have decreased sensitivity to slutty-looking costumes, but we have absolutely NO tolerance for unimaginative ones. Sexy cats or witches (a la Kelly in "90210," above) just make you look desperate, despite being more wallet-friendly than a full Fantasy Fairy getup ($99!). [Sidenote: the sheer cost of Halloween store outfits, compounded with the fact that you can only wear them once, makes them pretty prohibitive -- therefore, there is some logic in picking an outfit that will get dudes to buy you drinks.] ANYWAY -- combining your slim wallet, your powers of creativity, and your fishnets requires a great deal of finesse, not to mention a great deal of self-control around the candy bowl (have you ever wanted to put on a leotard after a week-long reunion with Halloween-edition Reese's?). So, is it worth it? If not, there's always plenty of things you can do with a sheet that don't involve a gym membership. For more ideas, hit "continue reading."

Michael Jackson was finally laid to rest last night.

Meanwhile, Ed Hardy fashion mogul and Jon Gosselin bud Christian Audigier (seen above) is remembering the King of Pop in is own special way -- by buying the L.A. mansion where he died.

Audigier says he plans to open Holmby Hills estate (which not to be confused with Neverland Ranch, although a lot of reports have been doing just that) every year on June 25, the day of Jackson's death.

In other MJ-related news, Carrie Fisher spent last Christmas with Michael and family, doing Princess Leia impressions for them. And Jackson bought her a cell phone. She'll apparently explain herself tonight on "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," so don't miss that.

Following Heidi Montag's "singing" performance at the Miss Universe pageant, US Weekly asked Heidi Montag which musicians she considers to be her music-industry equals.  Lucky for us, she gave a nice, brief answer: "Michael Jackson." (Too soon.) Lucky for her, Spencer topped her misstep, and then some. Below is an annotated transcript of this solid-gold exchange. (See the video of the interview, after the jump).

US: Who are the people you feel like you're now on-par with?

Heidi: Michael Jackson. [Can't recall any other proper nouns, looks to Spencer for help]

Spencer: The new modern-day, 2010 Michael Jackson. [Getting warmed up for a long speech, takes deep breath]

Heidi: Britney... [Feebly trying to regain attention, failing]

US: The 2010 Michael Jackson is dead, Spencer.

Spencer: [Annoyed at the interruption] But no, here it is. [Gestures towards Heidi] It's living...Michael Jackson is in heaven, so the holy spirit now has extra Michael Jackson juice. [Gross.] So boom! For all we know, Heidi gets possessed with the divine Michael Jackson spirit.

US: So Heidi is the new Michael Jackson?

Spencer: Oh, way bigger. [Shakes his head solemnly]

It is far too easy to dismiss conspiracy theorists. Maybe we didn't land on the moon -- or do you think the government never lies? ...Well, that's a bad example. We landed on the moon, but the point is the same: in this world, there have been countless conspiracies, and there are conspiracies occurring now, as you read this, that you might never know about as long as you live.

So is it really that hard to entertain the idea -- even for just a moment -- that Michael Jackson faked his death, as this video clearly fails to prove? There was certainly financial incentive for him to "die" and bilk his creditors. And, he is making more money now than when he was alive. He also had incentive to escape endless media scrutiny. Maybe he just wanted to live his life in peace. Can we at least agree that he might have considered faking his death at some point in his life? It's not that hard to imagine. Presto! Instant conspiracy theory.

The video that alleges Jackson is still alive is mysterious enough that it could become his Zapruder film. A man hops out of the coroner's van. I thought for a second he did a little moonwalk, but maybe I just wanted to see it.

If that doesn't convince you he's alive, you can get the latest on what's next in the homicide case in the video above.