"Reno 911" officers Jones and Williams went undercover at a swingers' party last night to "investigate" suspicious activity, but Jones crossed a line (or several) when he boasted that Williams nicknamed him "the jackhammer." Way to cap off hump day, Deputy Jones! Happy Thursday. Time to look at last night's television, which contained a nice mix of scandalous political confessions and Nigerian rites of passage. More after the jump.

VH1 has just picked up Jessica Simpson's new reality show, "The Price of Beauty," which will start filming mid-July. The documentary series follows Jessica around the world as she explores different cultures' ideals of beauty. "I am really looking forward to discovering how beauty is perceived in different cultures and participating in some of the crazy things people do to feel beautiful," she said today. I don't buy that she'll get a lip tattoo in Polynesia, but maybe I'm just cynical.

"Today" answered all of our burning (aching, feverish, sniffling) questions about swine flu this morning, debunking myths and providing tips for staying in the pink. But before getting into that, Lester Holt's first question needs to be addressed: "A lot of us don't even know when we have the regular flu. How do we know if we have the swine flu?" Uh, Lester, I beg to differ. When I had the flu last week, I DEFINITELY knew about it. So did my parents, all my co-workers, my roommate, my boyfriend, the drugstore lady, the bodega man, and anyone who had the pleasure of laying eyes on my pale, sweaty, hallowed face. The flu is not exactly something that can fly under the radar, like say, toenail fungus.

Anyway, back to the swine flu Q & A: it turns out that it actually comes from pigs! But don't worry about your bacon: this is a respiratory virus, so it is passed through liquid particles (uh, snot and saliva) that have been coughed or sneezed into the air. Moral of the story? Wash your hands, kids. More swine flu info after the jump.

President-elect Obama has claimed that one of the major goals of his administration will be to improve how the rest of the world views America. If the international post-election hysteria is any indication, he's doing a pretty good job so far. Although, to be fair, it's only been six days, and the rest of the world is probably just excited to finally hear the word "nuclear" pronounced correctly again. (Sorry, Wall Street Journal Op-Ed page!)

Still, there's only so much that the president can do by himself. We can all do our part to improve America's position in the world. So, let's start by helping to win over Great Britain, our friendliest ally. Here funny Brit Ricky Gervais stops by "The Late Show" to air some greviances about Americans and our prejudiced views toward our stogy, dentally-challenged friends. Sure, it's not perfect, but baby steps are the only way to world peace. Seriously though, England, you really should try out your own version of "The Office." Everyone deserves an opportunity to experience that kind of American ingenuity.