Latest posts in cows
After being exposed last season on "24" to the Starkwood's prion variant, which is sort of like mad cow disease but way worser and grosser, you might think Jack Bauer would steer clear of cattle for a while. (See what I did there with "steer"? That's right. High five.) More after the jump.
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McDonald's knows that the secret to an animal's deliciousness isn't the food it eats, but how happy it is. You must murder cows at peak happiness; otherwise, you lose flavor. McDonald's is insisting that all its beef providers give their cows water beds, foot baths, and a sincere smile before the animals get a bolt through the brain and are carted off to the butcher.
But McDonald's has another secret, and CollegeHumor exposes it in the video after the jump.
Keggy the Keg, the student-created (unofficial) mascot of the Dartmouth College Big Green, has returned to Dartmouth events after a six-month absence. Keggy was created by the Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern, a campus humor magazine, after deciding that the College needed a mascot that "wasn't racist, biased or sexist, yet [was] entirely unacceptable." Mission accomplished.
Keggy's storage locker was robbed over the summer, but the Jack-O-Lantern's crack team unveiled a new costume in time for the College's Winter Carnival. And thank God, because the only things at Dartmouth are drunks and cows, and they need appeasing when the weather gets cold. (Don't worry, nobody from Dartmouth can read that... they haven't discovered the Internet in the New Hampshire hinterland yet.)
But it's good to have you back, Keggy. If your service is anywhere near as important as your relative was to the Springfield Power Plant softball team, above, the Big Green will be glad to have you.
