The great American road trip has been romanticized for as long as America has had roads. Men and women riding in wagons/trains/cars, discovering their country and, somewhere along the way, discovering themselves.

Take your pick of the classic literature and movies dedicated to this experience. (I'm partial to the Breckin Meyer classic "Road Trip" in which he plays Josh Parker, a modern-day Dean Moriarty.) (Or maybe "Cannonball Run.")

Now imagine if the trip had been made on a Segway that goes 10 mph.

In this documentary, two guys give up their corporate jobs to trek from Seattle to Boston on the two-wheeled gyroscope contraption, crossing some of the same paths as the Oregon Trail and the Lewis and Clark expedition all while traveling about the same speed as the Pony Express did way back when.

But the best part about watching people on a Segway is the wipeouts, right? Heh. Click "continue reading" for some more fine Segway moments for you to enjoy.

Yeah, sorry monkeys. You lose. If humans are going to be dominated, they won’t be dominated by furry animals who floss with human hair and stockpile rocks to throw at children. They will be dominated by far-too-attractive "female" Asian robots that can flash bedroom eyes and have tight butts in silver Storm Trooper armor. You're starting to creep me out, Japan.

I'm going to describe a character. Try to guess if I'm describing KISS bassist (and lame dater) Gene Simmons or a chimpanzee:

The character has funny hair, always has his mouth open, likes being tickled, and often walks around with a pointy "shmekel." He smiles a lot, eats bananas, makes strange noises, and should be kept on a leash at all times.

Who do you think I'm describing? Ha! It's a trick question. I'm describing them both. I think we may have found the missing link.