It sucks to be a man. Women make them shop for undies and smell candles, and their bosses make them sit in boring meetings and do all kinds of stuff they hate. Given the chance, a man would trade his wife for a good set of tires so he can drive over the speed limit to somewhere that has snacks and beer. In fact, in the face of doom, the only thing that can save the world is beer. And animals love cars as much as men do. And women love babies, Paris, and book clubs. And men hate being around women -- unless those women have beer. And Hollywood only produces remakes or movies based on videogames. Men love videogames, especially if they are violent.

This is the overarching narrative of Sunday's Super Bowl ads. If you believe that the people shelling out millions for these spots have done their research and targeted the audience well, this is the country we live in: Men feel castrated by modern society and are on their way to fatal obesity and a 12-step program -- alone in a speeding car.

After the jump is a breakdown of the ads that aired during the Super Bowl, which attracted an estimated 106.5 million people. That makes it the most watched television in history. Sorry "M*A*S*H." Football is the new king.

I mean, remember how funny the ad above was? It combined both Bud Light and Will Ferrell's next movie, "Semi-Pro"! Maybe we were kind of like, "Really, Ferrell, another sports movie?" But probably we were mostly hopeful, because that ad aired during a legendarily great Super Bowl, and also, we were a little drunk.

Some of the ads from Super Bowl XLIII are already online, but in the meantime, why not stroll down Memory Lane with our highlights from the commercials of Super Bowl XLII? Don't worry -- I left out the barfing E-Trade baby. (Whoops.)