In case you missed it: Above is a clip from this week's "WWE Raw" of guest host Mark Cuban being run through a plywood folding table by a large man named "Sheamus." Cuban is a billionaire, Internet pioneer (just ask him!), and the owner of the Dallas Mavericks. He most certainly doesn't need to be run through a table to get attention. Yet, there is Mark Cuban, getting thrown through a table in front of a packed house. Mark Cuban is awesome.

Why'd he volunteer to hurt himself? ESPN's "PTI" guys speculated that Cuban was living out a childhood fantasy, and that makes sense. Personally, I wanted to be a firefighter, but I didn't want to run into a burning building! I wanted to drive the big truck around, maybe pet a Dalmatian, and eat the heck out of some firehouse chili. Cuban could've been a bystander in the ring and not get thrown around by a chemically-enhanced Beaker look-alike. But Mark Cuban is clearly a bigger man than I am -- one who believes that if you're going to be on "WWE Raw," you should be on "WWE Raw." I'm only half-surprised that he didn't get hit over the head with a folding chair.

It was really only a matter of time before Gov. Jesse Ventura returned to the silver screen for a reality show. The series, "Conspiracy Theory," investigates seven different conspiracies from the last decade and attempts to convince us that we're being lied to. But enough about that: I got to chat with the man himself, Jesse Ventura, about his suspicions of 9/11 and his new career in reality television. You want to hit "continue reading," trust me.

"Parks and Recreation" star Aziz Ansari posted an absolute gem on his blog today: The Ultimate Warrior's 1990 appearance on "The Arsenio Hall Show." Now, for those of you who aren't acquainted with The Ultimate Warrior, he was the most ridiculous of the all the ridiculous WWF stars of the nineties (including the red-mohawked "Tatanka"), and you can see him in action against Sgt. Slaughter, above.

But even if you think professional wrestling is dumb, you'll be able to appreciate the "Arsenio" clip after the jump. The wrestler bounds from backstage, runs through the crowd, flips over some couches, and glares at the host...before the grunting that constitutes the "interview." It'll make you long for the early '90s, when fist pumps were cheap and performance-enhancing drugs were plentiful.

Talk about a Stone Cold Stunner! None other than the Texas Rattlesnake (seen in action, above) himself recently shot an guest spot on "Chuck." I hope Zach Levi respected the doctrine of 3:16! (All pro-wrestling references in this post courtesy of Wikipedia.)

What do you get when you combine Tinkerbell from "Peter Pan," Ogie Ogilthorpe from "Slap Shot," and The Rock annihilating Stone Cold Steve Austin from WrestleMania XIX (above)? Why, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's next movie role in "The Tooth Fairy," naturally; a performance that surely will be one of the most important of our time. Johnson plays a tough minor league hockey player who does a bad thing, and as punishment, is forced to be the tooth fairy for a week. Like, the actual tooth fairy.

Normally a movie asks you to suspend disbelief about one, or maybe two details about its plot. So far, "The Tooth Fairy" has asked me to believe that The Rock can ice-skate, that someone can be sentenced into committing more breaking-and-entering misdemeanors, and that The Rock would tolerate being called a fairy...and I haven't even seen the trailer. But the best part of this movie without question is its poster, which you can see after the jump. The tooth hurts, indeed.

Jeremy Piven will follow in the size-23 footsteps of Shaquille O'Neal and host WWE Raw on USA tonight at 9/8 C. Shaq hosted last week and drew 5.77 million viewers to the show, which is the No. 1 program on television for males 18-34.

The "Entourage" star will arrange matches, and manage the roster of superstars and divas -- and these are no ordinary divas. Piven will have his hands full, as evidenced by the clip above.

World Wrestling Entertainment Chairman Vince McMahon, seen above antagonizing a midget on "Raw," is in some hot water with the Securities Exchange Commission over the supposed "sale" of his company to Donald Trump. As regular WWE viewers (read: 13-year-old boys and angry loners) are aware, McMahon recently "sold" the company to Trump as part of an ongoing storyline. WWE and USA Network (which airs "Raw") issued press releases announcing the fake sale in order to drum up publicity, but there was one small problem: WWE is publicly traded, and in the SEC's eyes, that constitutes false reporting.

WWE stock was down almost 7% after the announcement, of course, because anything Donald Trump touches turns either gaudy or bankrupt, and WWE is gaudy already. If an investor files a complaint with the SEC, things could get serious in a hurry for McMahon and Co., but let's be honest for a second: If you've willingly bought WWE stock, you've probably come to expect this kind of stuff.

NBA great Karl Malone, shown here proving he's also a fantastic professional wrestler, has seven kids. He has four with his wife, twins with another woman, and another son (Demetrius Bell) whose mother gave birth to him when she was 13. Yes, 13. Worst of all, Malone refuses to acknowledge Bell, who is now an offensive lineman on the Buffalo Bills.

But, Malone isn't the worst athlete offender on FanIQ's list of athletes with illigitimate kids, which is complete with rankings and descriptions. Who's the most surprising? Chicago Bulls coach Scott Skiles, who has at least six, and possibly as many as eight, illigitimate kids. The least surprising? Shawn Kemp, who has at least seven kids with six women, and possibly upwards of eleven children with nine women. After all, Kemp reportedly once listed his favorite hobbies and favorite breakfast as "girls" on a Portland Trailblazers info sheet.

Once I develop my time machine, I'm going to find the toughest men throughout history and start a football team. My criteria will not only be exceptional athleticism, skill, and ferocity, but also awesome hair. Luckily for me, there is a recruitment tool in place already to help me in my search: professional wrestling. After my initial scouting, I think I've found my franchise's middle linebacker, Mr. Rowdy Roddy Piper.