Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner is getting set to face the Green Bay Packers in the first round of the NFL Playoffs this Sunday, and he's known as a pretty straight shooter (proof above). So, when a promotional image for his upcoming appearance on Disney's "Suite Life on Deck" found its way into my inbox this afternoon...showing a smiling Warner in a pink-sequined jersey dress, it's hard to know what to make of it. The picture, and a short explanation is after the jump.

Cliff Lee and the Philadelphia Phillies beat the New York Yankees 6-1 last night in the first game of the World Series (above). Lee pitched a complete game, Chase Utley hit two home runs...and I'd talk about the actual game more, but thinking about this year's World Series gives me night terrors (I'm a Mets fan). Still, there was one moment in last night's game that was absolutely hilarious.

In the sixth inning, Lee got Johnny Damon to pop out to the mound, and he caught the ball. Pretty routine, right? But he did it in the least interested way he could muster -- perhaps unintentionally -- but really, guy, it's the World Series. Maybe using two hands would've sent a better message...you know, to the kids. Hit "continue reading" to see Lee's catch.

Last Sunday, New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez was feeling a bit peckish, and ordered an assistant to get him a hot dog. That seems innocent enough...until you learn that he did it on the sideline, during the second half of a game, and NFL stands for "No Fun League." Sanchez seems to have immediately regretted the decision -- he apologized after CBS told him their cameras caught him on the sideline, above -- and he'll probably get fined. That seems stupid to me.

When I am king, players will be openly encouraged to eat hot dogs on the sidelines during football games. I'd probably even give a trophy to the team who ate the most hot dogs during the season. That way, teams that had no shot at winning the Super Bowl could sign a bunch of professional eaters for the "game within the game." Kobayashi could be a kicker, right? Hit "continue reading" to see Sanchez's hot dog incident.

In case you missed it yesterday, this Roger Federer guy is basically a Harlem Globetrotter. In the final set of his U.S. Open semifinal match against Novak Djokovic, Federer smacked a backward, between-the-legs winner to reach match point. He called it the "greatest shot he ever hit" in his life.

You might try to recreate his shot with your friends, but you'd end up looking foolish and hurting yourself. It's such an absurdly difficult shot that you couldn't even make it in a videogame. But Federer can make it, because he Swiss the Terminator plays tennis sometimes. Federer goes up against Juan Martin del Potro in the U.S. Open final tonight.

Peyton and Eli Manning appeared on "The Early Show" this morning to promote their new children's book, "Family Huddle." I don't care who you are: you've got to acknowledge the cuteness that is in front of you. "Family Huddle" will undoubtedly be the cutest book on any bookshelf, even though Harry Smith got all caught up in the football stuff and forgot to ask about the story. I would guess there's a family who fights a lot, but reconnects after triumphantly scoring the winning touchdown in a football game against another family. Keep in mind this book -- for children -- was written by professional football-playing, grown-up men. This is groundbreaking cuteness. The Jonas Brothers had better step it up before they lose the "mankind's cutest brothers" title to Peyton and Eli.

Don Cheadle's pitch for "March to Madness" probably went something like this: "It's 'The Wire' meets the 'The White Shadow' meets ESPN." How could FX refuse that? Especially since Memphis University and its former coach, John Calipari, just made the show as timely as ever.

"Madness" is about a college basketball team that cheats its way into the NCAA tournament. According to Variety, the show "will be told through the eyes of the college coach, whose idealistic approach to the job has slowly been eroded by the compromises he's forced to make."

In the clip above, CBSSports.com college basketball columnist Gary Parrish discusses the scandal that cost Memphis its 2008 Final Four and its 38-win season. He even compares Calipari to a drug lord on "The Wire." Calipari's 1996 team at UMass also had to vacate its Final Four for cheating, but the coach is now at the helm of Kentucky -- unscathed.

"If you're the boss," Parrish said, "you don't get in the room with the guns and the drugs."

Never doubt the power and need for journalism ever again. Without our hard-hitting stories on corruption in the NBA, the country would be watching two different teams in the championship. Sorry, Cleveland Cavaliers and Denver Nuggets, but journalism is alive and well.

Once NBA Commissioner David "Kiss the Ring" Stern's plans to rig the finals came to light, he had no choice but to send the Los Angeles Lakers up against the Orlando Magic instead. He's no fool. The world is watching, Stern.

Long live the Fourth Estate.

Talk all you want about the big S on Dwight Howard's chest, the Nuggets' interior defense, Andrew Bynum's knee, LeBron's crazy trick shots, how Rashard Lewis needs to drive to be effective, Chauncey Billup's leadership, and Kobe taste-testing Shaq's butt.

Talk away. It's not thoughtful, factual analysis that matters, though. It's drama. Hearts need to be broken, plots need to be twisted. There should be car crashes and explosion, too.

That's why the Nuggets will upset Lakers in seven games to win the Western Conference Finals, and the Cavs will take the Magic in six to win in the Eastern Conference Finals.

That sets up the legend-making NBA Finals the league wants and needs. (Expect a few legend-making clutch plays, much like Michael Jordan's game-winning offensive foul against Bryon Russell and the Jazz in '98.)

LeBron is the game's biggest star. Unfortunately, the role of arch-rival is vacant. Kobe is old news, and has already been passed by, despite Spike Lee's pitiful attempt at myth-making. 'Melo and King james came out of the same draft class. He's ready to be Bird to LeBron's Magic. It's just not good theater, or good business, without that.

Can't you already hear the sweet sound of Ahmad Rashad's lips puckering up for a interview with 'Melo and LeBron, talking about that amazing series that set their rivalry in motion waaaaaay back in '09?

LeBron and the Cavs will beat 'Melo's Nuggets in seven Oscar-worthy games.

The Boston Bruins' season ended last night as they lost 3-2 to the Carolina Hurricanes (in the game seven alluded to above). But thanks to Lindsay at Videogum, their season was not in vain. She's found an adorable video of "Bruins Kid," a little boy who knows that the way to watch a hockey game involves pantomimed fighting, body paint, ripping off your shirt, and flexing.

Hit "continue reading" below for an introduction to the Internet's latest superstar, who's also an example for all that's right (and wrong) with Boston, Massachusetts.

The Los Angeles Times reports that Dodgers outfielder Manny Ramirez will be suspended 50 games by Major League Baseball for testing positive for a banned substance. Ramirez, who signed a new two-year contract with the Dodgers before this season (above), will be replaced on the roster by triple-A outfielder Xavier Paul.

In other news, that high-pitched wailing you just heard is the sound of New England realizing that the two championships of their beloved Red Sox are now as tainted as A-Rod's Details photo shoot.