While rumors about her on-again, off-again "Dancing With the Stars" ripoff are still flying, it appears as though Kathy Griffin still has at least one gig for sure: Bravo has renewed "My Life on the D-List" for its sixth season. Personally, I was hoping they'd cobble together a combination of that with her dancing show, perhaps titled "Dancing With the D-List." Even better yet, they could kill three birds with one stone: replace Samantha Harris with Kathy, re-title "DWTS" with my aforementioned suggestion, and save everyone from obscurity and unecessary TV-watching! Triple-win.

How do you get to Carnegie Hall? A lifetime of practice. Or, if you're Kathy Griffin, a successful reality show and a tired schtick (above). But how do you get that piano onto the stage of Carnegie Hall? By paying a stagehand an average salary of $430,543. That's right, the average salary of a Carnegie Hall stagehand is more than what President Obama makes ($400,000).

It might surprise you that in these economic times, you can make close to a half million dollars as a glorified mover. But, as Bloomberg explains, it's more of a testament to the stagehands' strong union -- Local One of the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees -- which also represents the Broadway stagehands that shut down 26 shows for weeks the last time they went on strike in 2007. So, kids, are you looking for a high-paying job out of school? Forget calculus: Join your school's drama club as a set lackey...and hit the weights.

Kathy Griffin's book, "Official Book Club Selection: A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin," comes out on September 8, and Kathy has already begun a campaign for the big "O" sticker. Yes, she's hoping to join authors William Faulkner, Cormac McCarthy, and Joyce Carol Oates on the hallowed shelves of Oprah's venerated book club. But Kathy's main reason for seeking the honor seems to be more about obtaining an invitation to "The Oprah Winfrey Show" than it is about gaining any literary cred. She's already made extensive plans for her appearance: in an open letter to Oprah, she asks that Ms. Winfrey wear peach, and that they cold-call Steadman to verify his existence.

A simple request is definitely not enough to merit Oprah's forgiveness. (Kathy has not been invited back to the talk show since her first appearance, and didn't win any points when she attempted to deliver a pizza to Oprah's New York office last year. Moreover, as she explains in the video above, African-Americans don't tend to make up a big portion of her fan base.) Thus, the comedienne has started a petition to further her cause. Read and sign it here.

Over the last few weeks, flame-haired attention-lover Kathy Griffin has mounted an aggressive air, land, and sea assault on the American public -- and we kinda liked it. On last night's season two finale of "My Life on the D-List," our heroine planted her star the Hollywood Walk of Fame (see clip, above), but I have to say it's the least of her latest accomplishments: in the last few weeks, we've watched her roast Joan Rivers and molest win the heart of America's favorite moose-hunting man-candy. See footage from her growing list of epic wins, after the jump.

On yesterday's "My Life on the D-List," Kathy Griffin fought the good fight against homophobia, going door-to-door to champion gay rights. See how well that went, above.

Ah, Tuesday. Last night, we bid farewell to this season of "Charm School" -- sigh -- and saw new episodes of "Weeds" and "Nurse Jackie." Meanwhile, the talk show circuit had a field day with Sarah Palin's farewells, and Colbert tried to pronounce "Äppelknyckarjazz" -- prepare yourself, then click "continue reading."

Andrew W.K. is quite the character, as Kathy Griffin found out above. He's as well known for his all-white outfits and loud songs about fun and parties as he is for his sincere self-help lectures and cheerful demeanor. (Time Magazine even called him "truly cute.") Nowhere is this more evident than his new gig hosting Cartoon Network's new show "Destroy, Build, Destroy," in which kids build something out of junk and compete for the right to destroy it again. I was born in the wrong decade.

W.K.'s been making some hilarious appearances in the media while promoting his show. He popped up on an Oklahoma television station to do the weather, and made a mockery out of a Fox News reporter's question about infidelity. Hit "continue reading" below to see both of his awesome clips.

Kathy Griffin wasn't the only one who kept it real last night: while she held it down with Reverend Wright in Harlem (see video, above), Lewis Black returned to "The Daily Show" to talk about health care. Stewart also offered his take on the moon landing's 40th anniversary; the full episode is after the jump.

Also in the roundup: Conan interviewed Adam Sandler about his upcoming film, "Funny People." (Is it sad? Is it happy? What's going on?) To see the full shebang, hit "continue reading."

Comedian Katt Williams declared bankruptcy yesterday, despite his comedy tours that grossed an estimated $50 million. Williams recently invited Kathy Griffin to his home (featured on "My Life on the D List," above) to give her some tips on playing the Apollo Theater, and gave us some the rest of us some tips on how to blow $50 million in the process.

According to the show, Williams was the most successful touring comedian in the world; so successful that he retired at 35. His driveway is filled with a Lamborghini, Rolls Royce, and other exotic cars, and Griffin says his mansion is "the size of a small city." But I guess either comedy doesn't pay that well, or his spread complete with a putting green, kennel, and "mini-zoo" costs a lot to maintain. Either way, Internet, there's a lesson in all this: Just because you're worth $50 million doesn't mean you can have a backyard full of llamas.

Above, a preview of tonight's episode of "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List," in which our heroine tries her hand at acting as a wedding planner in an episode of The CW's "Privileged." Due to the lag time between the taping of Griffin's "Privileged" episode and the airdate of this "D-List," we in the audience who love both shows have the wistful experience of watching our formerly beloved "Privileged" knowing that Griffin will never get a chance to reprise her role: it was cancelled last month. But! The show's talent isn't going entirely to waste. Series lead Joanna Garcia will join the cast of "Gossip Girl" for at least four episodes in Season 3, playing a love interest for Chace Crawford's cute yet dopey Nate. If the producers of "Gossip Girl" are reading this (and I know they are): lock down those two Baker twins to play Blair's brunette rivals at NYU now, and thank me later.

Last night's TV lineup was bountiful indeed, and ranged from new episodes of "Nurse Jackie" and "Weeds" to the Season 6 premiere of "Run's House." On a new "My Life on the D-List," Kathy Griffin began a "Grammy Telethon," cold-calling former Grammy winners in their homes to solicit votes toward her own award. Her mission leads all the way to Canada (above...no pun intended), where she visited comedian Lily Tomlin.

See more on last night after the jump.