A scant 38 years after Carly Simon recorded her iconic single, "You're So Vain" -- a hit song rumored to be about any one of myriad '70s cads, including Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, and James Taylor -- The Sun reveals that Simon has finally let the cat out of the so-called bag. No, not Cat Stevens! It's not about him either.

It turns out that Carly Simon, seen above in a recent Bloomberg clip, re-recorded "You're So Vain" for her new record, and gave fans an Easter egg: when you play the track backwards, you get to hear her whisper the first name of the guy she once bet thought the song was about him. And that name is: "David." No, not David Niven! That is insane. She means David Geffen -- the former record executive and Dreamworks impresario who also happens to be the subject of Joni Mitchell's divine "Free Man in Paris." This is a total curveball.

Given that Geffen's a gay guy from Brooklyn whose mother sold brassieres, I want to tip my hippie headband to him for being the man-muse behind two of the best female-helmed pop songs in the history of time. And yet, maybe Geffen should give other people a chance to have songs written about them? I'm beginning to thing "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" could have been written about him too, and that's not fair to the guy named Leroy Brown in the dive bar right now trying to score with the waitress by telling her that the song on the jukebox is about him. Poor Leroy. I'll bet he walked into that dive bar like he was walking onto a speedboat.

Exciting news from the literary world! Kitty Kelley -- the world's most important author who is not Jackie Collins -- will be releasing an authorized biography of Oprah Winfrey this April. And if Kelley's past tell-alls are any indication, Oprah is not going to be happy with how she's depicted! You'll remember that Kelley was the one who wrote so eloquently on the subject of Patti Reagan's abuse at the hand of her astrology-loving, pot-smoking mother Nancy, not to mention Nancy's own torrid affair with Frank Sinatra, who himself was the subject of a Kelley book. She had the nerve to allege that Frank was with the Mob! And that his mother didn't make the best sauce on her block! Those are fighting words, but she's still standing. Bless and keep all trashy celebrity biographers, everywhere.

There are no hints as to the content of the book in the above clip from Bloomberg Television, but I hope and pray Kelley has some juicy revelations in her back pocket about Oprah, Gayle, Stedman, and Doctors Oz and Phil being in some kind of sex cult -- or that she found out that one of Winfrey's real "favorite things" is MURDER.

Either way, let's toast to Kelley for being the one author alive who doesn't care about landing on Oprah's Book Club list. And also for being an '80s icon with the first name of "Kitty," like the gorgeous Kitty Dukakis, who drank hairspray and mouthwash when she was an alcoholic, remember? As a side note, I wish more people were named "Kitty." Maybe things would be more like the '80s if they were.

The Winter Olympics is the upstart younger brother of the Summer Olympics, and though both have been around for a while, the Winter Olympics like to take some..."liberties" with the sports event. The 2010 games in Vancouver are right around the corner, and they've already made the Olympic Torch look like a giant joint (in Canada's "marijuana capital," above). So when the committee announced their medal designs yesterday, maybe we shouldn't be surprised that they're a little "unorthodox."

In 2006, Torino's Winter Olympic medals looked like giant doughnuts (or Italian piazzas, I apologize), and were criticized by some purists. Those critics are going to hate the Vancouver medals, which look like more like Salvador Dali's melting clocks than awards. The Vancouver Olympic Committee describes the medals as "one of a kind pieces of Aborignal art," but as my fellow editor (and esteemed Canadian) Tara Ariano says, "They look like a hippie left them to melt on a radiator." Check them out for yourself, after the jump.

Bernie Madoff: Broadway's next big star?

Across the pond, a new play about Enron has become a critical and commercial hit. Now it's headed for Broadway, Variety reports.

Disappointingly, it's not a musical. However, if it does take off over here, it could open the door for more financial crisis theatre. Bernie Madoff, anyone? As Bloomberg TV points out above, his sentence was six times greater than anything the Enron guys got -- and even prompted spontaneous applause in the courtroom. If that doesn't spell boffo box office, I don't know what does.

Also, I'd love to see what Twyla Tharp could do with Sir Allen Stanford.

California is holding a huge garage sale to help pay down the state's $26 billion budget deficit (as my colleague Will recently described). And there may be some treasures among all the broken VHS tapes and incomplete sets of Jarts:

"Among the ticketed items for sale will be a grand piano from 1862, complete with ivory keys and decades of dust, which is offered by the Department of Parks and Recreation. There are two collections of souvenir bobblehead dolls from the 2003 Sacramento Kings confiscated by the California Highway Patrol and going for $15 (decorative stands included). Then there are the oddities of unknown origin, including a songbook from a German opera, 'Der Waffenschmied,' which may be overpriced at $3."

Also, some cars personally autographed by Governor Arnold Scwharzenegger. No word on whether he'll throw his Conan sword in the mix.

Just another sign that the future predicted by the forgotten (but incredible) 1979 John Ritter movie "Americathon" is coming to pass.

Welcome to New York City, where even 9-foot-wide, 990-square foot houses can sell for millions of dollars if they're in the right neighborhood. The narrowest house in the city (profiled above), located in the trendy West Village is for sale, listed at $2.7 million. The house is also 42 feet long -- a perfect size for Frodo Baggins to finally set roots down in the city.

The listing realtors claim that actors Cary Grant and John Barrymore also once lived in the house, and it was previously owned by antropologist Margaret Mead. But I'm surprised that the realtors would look over the house's most famous (alleged) tenants: The Keebler Elves.

Documentarian Michael Moore released a new trailer for his film about the financial crisis (discussed above) yesterday. Moore's "Capitalism: A Love Story" will tell the story of the bailout, subprime mortgage crisis, and plight of average everyday Americans in the even-handed, fair, open, agenda-free way that is his trademark.*

*Except none of those things.

I've already railed against Moore's film (twice), so I'll refrain this time. But if you'd care to watch the trailer and decide for yourself, it's after the jump.

In addition to the various other crimes Bernie Madoff committed, and for which he was recently sentenced to prison, he was unfaithful to his wife, which we knew; his secretary already spilled those beans a couple months ago in her juicy Vanity Fair tell-all. But just in case he doesn't look quite slimy enough, financier Sheryl Weinstein is publishing a book about her extramarital affair with Madoff. (Incidentally, she had all her family's money invested with him as well.) The shudder-inducing title, "Madoff's Other Secret: Love, Money, Bernie, and Me," will be out later this month, and according to Bloomberg, it will include "details of the affair...photographs and some intimate descriptions of Madoff." Gross. I'm guessing Ruth won't be sending him care packages anytime soon.

This year's Princeton Review delivered some shocking news: Penn State was named the #1 party school instead of Florida.

There must have been some kind of mix-up here. Penn State over Florida? How can this be? They think more parties happen in Pennsylvania, where the weather is bleak and unpredictable, compared to Florida, where there aren't even winters? Pennsylvania, where there's what, the Liberty Bell, instead of Florida, home of sun, beaches, palm trees, bikinis, and the Florida cocktail? Outrageous.

Above, Bloomberg reports that super investor Warren Buffett will star in the "Secret Millionaire's Club," a cartoon aimed at educating children about finance. The cartoon will also feature Martha Stewart (who will report from her "tricked-out treehouse"), and supermodel Gisele Bundchen. The "Secret Millionaire's Club" will be shown online on AOL sites, and then carried elsewhere.

Some might think that this will be Buffett's first animated doppelganger, but I'm not so sure. Hit "continue reading" to see if you agree with me after the jump.