Last night on "Family Guy," Peter Griffin took over Lois's family's business after Mr. Pewterschmidt had a health crisis. It was a pretty good episode, but we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about the non sequiturs, which were pretty great! C'mon, team: Let's explain and grade them!

1. The Bottom of the Ocean Looks Like an Aquarium: Stewie and Brian snorkel off the Pewterschmidt's yacht, and are surprised to see that the bottom of the ocean has fake plastic castles and diverscapes, just like the aquarium at Stewie's preschool. Meh. Grade: C

2. Hamburger vs. Cheeseburger Helper: Peter has a conversation with the Hamburger Helper Glove, before the Cheeseburger Helper Glove comes over to try to convince him to buy his product instead. Peter points out that Cheeseburger Helper is just Hamburger Helper with cheese, and this causes a small commotion. This is really just an excuse for us to relive those awesome Hamburger Helper ads, which are awesome and the best. Grade: B+

3. Foreign Guys Try American Slang: At a strip club, two foreigners try their hand at American slang, and botch it miserably. It's been done, yes. But it's so true, and it's been a long time since "SNL's" "Wild and Crazy Guys":

Grade: A

4. Female Co-Worker at a Strip Club: This one killed me. A woman has joined her male co-workers at a strip club, and is way too excited about it. Or, she's excited to be seen as the fun "guy's girl," that is. They nailed it. Grade: A+

6. Carter Pewterschmidt's Heart Attack-Ack-Ack-Ack: Mr. Pewterschmidt describes his heart attack with a little Billy Joel reference (from "Movin' Out"). Sure, a little Billy Joel never hurt anybody...but it didn't really help the episode either. Grade: B-

7. Dr. House Guest Stars, and Throws Out the Rule Book: Hugh Laurie lends his voice to last night's episode as Dr. House tends to Mr. Pewterschmidt in the hospital. He does and says some very House-like things, including throwing a "Rule Book" out the window. Peter even recycles a "Road House" reference for good measure (R.I.P. Patrick Swayze). Overall: well done, good effort! Grade: B

8. German Bedtime Story: Peter accuses Lois of being as much fun as a "German bedtime story," before a montage about a kid whose thumbs are cut off after he won't stop sucking them. Seriously, German kids' stories are freaky. If you don't believe me, check out "Struwwelpeter." No wonder Germans grow up to love David Hasselhoff. Grade: A-

9. Lacey Chabert Fired: Lacey Chabert voiced Meg Griffin for the first season of "Family Guy," before she was replaced by current voice actress Mila Kunis for Season 2. There wasn't much explanation about why she was replaced...until last night when Seth MacFarlane (as Brian) seemed to imply that she was fired. If I were Ms. Chabert's agent, I'd be upset. But I'm not, so I appreciate MacFarlane's cojones. (That is not what she said, you stop it!) Grade: B

10. African-American Heart Monitor, Jeremy Irons Cereal, Scream-in-a-Box, Lady Scream-in-a Box: After Peter takes over Pewterschmidt Industries, he works on the new products listed above. The African-American Heart Monitor is basically the Snoop Dogg GPS, and the Scream-in-a-Box is what it sounds like, but the Jeremy Irons Cereal is hilarious. "It's as bland as Jeremy Irons." Which -- as you can tell from the video below -- is pretty bland:

Grade: Jeremy Irons Cereal: A- The Rest: C-

11. "Go Get It Boy" Inspirational Poster: The "inspiring quote" posters on the walls of corporate cubicle farms and public school cafeterias are asking for parody, so this isn't entirely new. But then Brian sells the scene by saying, "I will go get it!" Which is just earnest enough for an LOL. Well done, everybody. Grade: A-

12. Quagmire Sells Out, Confronted by Hippie Quagmire: Quagmire has a conversation in a mirror with his younger, hippie self about his new corporate life. But, because it's Quagmire, it turns out that his life isn't all that different. Then the hippie asks for money. Typical. Grade: C-

13. Peter's Christmas List: Peter is filling out his Christmas list, and ends up throwing a television into Lois's car after an ad for glow-in-the-dark remote-controlled cars. It's the worst of the episode. Grade: D

14. "Big Bang Theory" Viewing Party: After taking over the company, Peter forces Mr. Pewterschmidt to throw a "Big Bang Theory" viewing party, and to invite the other employees to watch it with him at his mansion. No one comes to the party -- because it's "The Big Bang Theory" -- but Pewterschmidt ends up laughing at the nerd humor, like this:

As someone who doesn't understand the appeal of "The Big Bang Theory," I thought this was a very funny non sequitur! But, if you like "The Big Bang Theory," maybe you didn't. It's okay, we don't have to like the same things, and I'm sure your LAN parties in high school were super-fun! Grade: A-

15. Swamp Monster "Scooby-Doo" Homage: Near the end of the episode, there's a great "Scooby-Doo" homage, where Lois et al are chased through the Pewterschmidt corporate offices by a large "Swamp Monster." The Swamp Monster is eventually caught in a comically-sized net, and is revealed to be Dr. House. I loved this, I love "Scooby-Doo," and I loved the return of Hugh Laurie's British accent. Grade: A+

16. Peter Gets Stuck in a "Sitcom Freeze Frame": You know how, in old cheesy sitcoms, the last frame is always like a jubilant "fist pump" and then the credits roll? "Family Guy" did that last night...but then the scene went on. Peter -- stuck in a midair fistpump -- sullenly asks, "Am I going to die?" Very, very strong work. Grade: A-