We've been in the greater Los Angeles area for 12 whole episodes (and a pilot). It's time we learned about Latinos.

Brandon rides his bike home from someplace unimportant (I guess, since we don't find out where he was), only to walk in on his parents in an anxious living-room conclave. With Latinos!

Naturally, Brandon heads up to Brenda's room to find out what's going on. "Mom and Dad are throwing a party for Chick Schneider," Brenda tells him excitedly. Brandon's never heard of this alleged founder of the fashion line CS Pacific, so Brenda elaborates: "He makes all those great wipeout pants that Dylan always wears." "Great" is a strong word, but at least now I know whose house I should egg for this offense. Anyway, Chick is Jim's new client, and Ana's there because she's going to be catering the party. Brandon's not so sure: he thinks she's getting fired. They can't debate it further, though, because they get called downstairs.

The great thing about Brenda's awful, pulled-up-past-her-navel jeans is that she's paired them with a cropped hoodie, the better to highlight the mom pooch she'll have in a few years. I mean, right?

Anyway, the kids are introduced to Ana's cousin, Richard Rodriguez. He says that Ana's been raving about Brenda and Brandon (for some reason), and the twins are quick to say they have a high opinion of Ana, too: "ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MOM?" brays Brandon for emphasis. What's going on? Well, the adults just don't know where to begin. Ana's niece, Carla, has been having troubles at her terrible gang-ridden school, so the Walshes are letting her use their address so she can enroll at WBH. By the way, Ana keeps piping up throughout this conversation; it's only taken a month for her to become completely fluent in English! That Cindy is a heck of a tutor. For some reason, Brenda acts like she's personally offended by this subterfuge on Carla's behalf, but she says that if Jim and Cindy don't have a problem with it, she doesn't. Brandon offers to show Carla around, but Richard cautions that she doesn't like to attract a lot of attention to herself.

WBH. David is on the radio calling MC Hammer, though of course Hammer's assistant is disgusted as soon as she learns he's calling from a high school, and hangs up.

Steve, Kelly, and Donna come downstairs, having heard David strike out, and if any of you have guesses as to what's going on with Donna's skanky Goth sailor ensemble, I would love to hear them.

(What you can't see in that shot is that the bottoms are short shorts -- obviously.) Anyway, Donna says that David is "out there." Kelly remembers when he was Steve's freshman mascot. Steve laughs, but then he sees this...

...and reacts like this.

Obviously, this is the Carla we've just heard about -- you can't fool me, TV show! -- and though she's perfectly cute, Steve's reaction seems a little over-the-top. On the other hand, it shut him up, so I'm not complaining. Carla then passes by Dylan, who ignores Be's bragging about all the wipeout pants she can get him, but only if he LOOKS AT HER when she's talking to him! Busted for ogling.

Weak, Latter-Day Fonzie.

"Blaze" office. Carla lets herself in; she's lost. Brandon's is blah-ing with Andrea about the broken fax machine; his back is to Carla, but he's nice, so he offers to take her to the "new building" sight unseen and continues arguing with Andrea, who points out that he forgot to capitalize "Sacramento" in his latest story. Brandon cracks that it "doesn't deserve a capital" (what?), at which Carla pipes up: "Hey, cheap shot! I was born in Sacramento!" And that's when he turns around to get an eyeful of her exotic pulchritude, which he obviously finds irresistible.

Andrea sees what's happening and briskly introduces herself. Carla reciprocates, and Brandon recognizes her name, telling her he's Brandon Walsh? Jim and Cindy Walsh? Either Carla is not trying to acknowledge any relationship with the family (which: weird, if she's supposed to be living with them) or the actress playing her is terrible: either way, Carla doesn't react at all.

In the hallway, Brandon tries to cover his lovestruck awkwardness with some of his trademark braying: "SO. ANNA's your AUNT." "More like a friend of the family," says Carla, very dainty in spite of the fact that her ballooning jeans taper most unbecomingly into her hoof-like shoe-boots.

Brandon says that the Walshes love Ana, so there was never any question about helping Carla, as if he was in any way a party to that decision. Carla says that's very kind. Brandon says that he and Brenda will introduce her around. What classes is Carla taking? French, "Tech," and American Literature. Those are practically all of Brandon's classes! She asks if that's good, and he says he thinks it's very good. But he warns her: she shouldn't be put off if the other students are a little more competitive than she's used to.

Sooooo...cut to Carla being a total academic rock star. She reads French, and Brandon swoons.

She calls Shaw a misogynist for "Pygmalion."

She drops science about fiber optics. She basically rocks Brandon's world.

Afterward, in the hall, Brandon is clearly threatened: "Ana said you were a good student; she didn't mention you were a genius!" Carla says that she just likes to participate in class discussions. "You mean dominate them," says Brandon, in a way he thinks is flirtatious. Carla says that she just wants to get into a good college, like everyone else. Brandon offhandedly says that she won't have a problem getting a scholarship. Right away, her guard's up: what's that supposed to mean? Nothing. A Hispanic can't get into a good college without a scholarship? Brandon says he didn't say that. Carla accuses him of bringing up "a minority scholarship"... Er, no he didn't. He was just talking about financial aid, which a lot of people need, including himself. Now he's got his bray on again: he's gone out of his way to make this place less strange for her and she bites his head off! Carla's apologetic, and says that she has things going on, but that it's a long story. Brandon would love to hear it, but he has to get to work. Carla can't believe he works! Where?!

At the Peach Pit, Brandon introduces Carla to everyone. Kelly, sotto voce to Brenda: "She's related to your maid?" Kelly! Keeping it real (bigoted). Brenda says that she'll tell Kelly later. The girls start leafing through the CS Pacific catalogue; they can order whatever they want. Kelly: "God, these baggies are so trendoid." Brandon asks if Carla can get in on the order too. Brenda, with just the slightest hesitation, says sure, if she likes Chick Schneider stuff. Carla: "I love Chick Schneider! Who's Chick Schneider." She looks at the catalogue: "Cute stuff! I'll take one of each." Kelly: "Ooh, our kind of girl." Steve, at the other end of the counter, tells Brandon that Carla is into Brandon. Brushing it off, Brandon brings Carla a plate of something, on the house. But when she starts to eat it, she notices that the Latino busboys are totally giving her the stinkeye.

Later, Brandon drives Carla home through vibrant Spanish signage and peppy ethnic music, asking, "Is this part of town considered East L.A.?" (He wants to be able to show off for his whitey friends later.) "Well, it's not Rodeo Drive," notes Carla. Brandon sees a bunch of dudes hopping out the back of a pickup truck and asks where they're coming from. "Work," says Carla, like, doy. "Where?" "Anywhere." Carla explains what has somehow escaped Ba's notice: the trucks come in the morning, which is when (Carla says) it's the worst, seeing ten guys chasing a truck down the street, "all for hard labor and very cheap pay." Brandon: "Who would just pick people up off the street?" Dude. Seriously? Carla: "How do you think all those pools and tennis courts in Beverly Hills get built?"

Brandon pulls up next to an enormous Victorian house. Also, nice smog. Oh, L.A. Ba: "This is where Ana lives?" "What did you expect, a deluxe condo?" Yeah, this enormous Victorian house is a real craphole.

"Are you this defensive with everyone, or do I just bring out the best in you?" Brandon asks. Carla says that Brandon and his friends don't appreciate everything they have, like all the nice clean safe classrooms, lab equipment, blah blah blah. Brandon reminds her that they're her classrooms too, and that with her brains, she'll be able to do whatever she wants in life. She wants to believe that, but then she sees those busboys at the Peach Pit, looking at her like she's a traitor for sitting on the wrong side of the counter. Brandon: "Are you talking about Manuel and Pepe?" Carla: "I don't know their names." WELL NOW WHO'S THE LADY OF THE MANOR, NOT EVEN LEARNING THE LITTLE PEOPLE'S NAMES. Brandon promises, "They're not like that." Yeah, I'm sure Brandon hangs out with them all the time. He adds, "If they were looking at you, it's because you're a pretty girl, not because you're Hispanic." Also: "I think a lot of this is in your head. 'Cause I don't see it." CASE CLOSED. TAKE THAT, RACIAL TENSION IN AMERICA! Carla says that her life is really complicated right now. Brandon wants to know how the two of them can simplify it. Carla: "I can't decide if you're for real, or just a real smooth operator." Not the latter, lady. Brandon leaves. And then, guess what? Richard Rodriguez is on the steps. Carla, cowed, tells him she's sorry she's late. He tells her she'd just better be careful.

Ooh, a glimpse at how the magic happens! Brenda catches Brandon primping.

Brenda accuses him of having "that look." Brandon doesn't know what she means, so she explains: "That 'come on, baby, light my fire' kind of a look." That's your BROTHER! I wish I could say I was reminding them of that for the last time, but I know it wasn't. Brandon brushes it off, but Brenda tells him, "People are already starting to talk about you guys." Brandon is horrified, for some reason: "What are they saying?" "It's just that ever since we moved to L.A., every girl you meet becomes your next true love," Brenda points out, accurately. Brandon: "That's not true. What about Andrea?" Brenda says that she doesn't count, since she's his editor; they have a professional relationship. Brandon says that he has a platonic relationship with Carla. Brenda's like, "And for how long?" Brandon pulls a Carla, demanding to know, if that changes, whether Brenda would have a problem with that. Brenda hotly denies that she's "hung up" on the fact that Carla is "Hispanic" (which I guess was still a word in use at the time). Brenda concludes, "As far as I'm concerned, people are people, no matter who they are, or where they come from. Except maybe St. Paul." Regional humor! They'll love that line down at the Q. Cumbers.

Kitchen, Chez Walsh. Cindy's with Ana, going over the menu for the party: it's all Mexican-y. And Cindy's never heard of tapas before! Aw, 1991. (Ana translates it as "finger food.") Enter the kids. Brenda gives Jim back the CS Pacific catalogue, and her friends' wish list. Cindy marvels that Chick Schneider is being so generous, and Jim says that with the "dough" he's "raking in," he can afford to be. Brandon suggests to Ana that she bring Carla with her in the mornings so that Carla can ride to school with him and Brenda and not have to get up so early for the bus. Ana says, "We'll see." Brenda snickers.

WBH. David calls Hammer again. "Who is this?" "If I tell you, do you promise not to hang up?" Hangup. Comedy!

Steve calls over Scott (calling him "Sam," hee) to ask what's with David and Hammer. Scott says that David wants Hammer to play at the prom. Steve says that there's no way Hammer's going to play at a school dance. Scott agrees that everyone knows that but David.

"Blaze." Andrea asks about Brandon's relationship with Carla. Brandon asks if she's been talking to Brenda. No, Andrea just happened to be in the office, and happened to see CM's file, with her address (read: the Walshes' address) showing. Brandon: "You just forget what you saw, okay?" Andrea: "Done." But then she asks whether Carla is living at Brandon's house. Brandon: "What do you think?" She thinks he should be careful. She's one to talk, he shoots back. That's what she means: "If anyone is found living out-of-district, it could cause a whole chain reaction." Brandon says he'll tell everyone to be careful. That's all Andrea wanted to know. Oh, that's ALL she wanted to know? Shut up, Brandon, quit torturing her over her crush on you. "Well, since we're on the subject...?" she leads. "For the record: yes, I'm very attracted to Carla. Yes, I'd like to get to know her better." Good for him, but Andrea just heard Carla was really smart, and wanted to know if Brandon knew her GPA. "Yes, I'm very attracted to her"? Quit talking like George Hamilton, weirdo.

Hallway. Brandon catches up to Carla. He hasn't seen her the past couple of days because she's been dashing out of class too fast for him to get to talk to her; she's giving him a complex! (Who says that? Seriously, it's like they think he's Mr. Drummond.) At school, Carla says, she tends to shut people out. Then, says Brandon, he'll just have to see her outside of school. He asks her out for the next several nights, but she blows him off.

After school, Carla waits for the bus between a couple of Rosarios (TM "Will & Grace").

Brandon pulls up in the Taurus station wagon to offer her a ride, which she reluctantly accepts.

In the car, there is awkward silence. Brandon babbles about missing his old school, asking if Carla misses hers. She doesn't say anything, so Brandon hints at what he heard from Ana about Carla's trouble at her old school. Carla politely says that this isn't what she wants to be talking about. Brandon basically tells her he's trying to hit on her: "Boy GETS girl, if girl gives him half a chance." She asks if he likes to dance. Brandon: "Is this my chance?"

So Latinos like line dancing, I guess?

Or at least they did in 1991. My guess is that the writers' original idea involved an exciting time at a salsa dancing bar, but Jason Priestley danced like a hockey player and they had to scrap it. Instead, Carla and Brandon are at the Community Rec Center, which accounts for all the ambiance. The music is not remotely salsa-inflected, which either means that someone was making a point that Latinos can like all kinds of music, or else the rights clearance people didn't get permission to distribute the original track for future iterations of the show. And in case you were wondering: Brandon still can't dance.

Later, Brandon brings Carla home. "You really get to see the whole skyline from up here," Brandon marvels. Yes, L.A. definitely looks less smoggy at night.

Brandon explains that he doesn't get downtown much. Carla gets excited for the first time, talking about some mission on either Alvaro or Olvera Street; I don't know, she's kind of a mushmouth. Brandon asks if Carla will show him. And then, Brandon macks on YET ANOTHER girl. And where is HER hand?

Brandon: "This is what I wanted since the first time I saw you." Carla: "I can't believe it's only been a week." HAHAHA! Oh, teenagers. But unbeknownst to them and their perfect love...Richard peeps!

Chez Walsh. Sitting up in bed, Cindy is stressing about throwing their first Beverly Hills party that day. Brenda comes in to ask about the chairs from the rental company. Jim tells her to get Brandon to help, but he's not there. Cindy notes that he was out late the previous night, and Brenda wisely takes off before she has to lie for him. Cindy comments that they both know whom Brandon was out with. Jim confirms that he has an inkling. Cindy: "Maybe we should tell the kids the truth about Carla." "I don't think we can," says Jim. Drama!

The good old Taurus station wagon pulls up at Carla's. Brandon hops up the stairs -- past a couple of random kids and an abuela -- to the door, which Carla opens. Brandon has pastries for Ana, but she's already gone to his house, for the party. Brandon wants to pick up where he and Carla left off; he didn't sleep the night before. She didn't either. He makes with the face-stroking, but then Richard pulls up, and Carla guiltily moves Ba's hand away and tells him he should go. Richard is all friendly, asking if Brandon is there to pick up Ana, but he says he came to take Carla for breakfast in Beverly Hills. Richard leadingly says that Carla doesn't have time, does she? Carla agrees that she doesn't. Awkward.

Peach Pit. Brandon serves Steve, and complains about Carla. Steve asks if he wasn't with Carla last night, and Brandon skeevily doesn't deny it. Enter Dylan, wet from surfing, and apparently wearing the same shirt Steve ordered from the catalogue. I can't really say whom it would look better on. Stick Bug or Hair Plugs? You make the call! Dylan says he's also getting some baggies tonight. Party's still on? Yes. Carla is going to be there, right? No. Brandon didn't invite her? She didn't give him the chance; also, she's working.

Chez Walsh. Snooty yet generic classical music plays, as befits a party for a teen-oriented fashion line where the menu will be Mexican finger food. Carla primps in the mirror forever, starts to do something vague with a napkin, and quickly gives up.

In the kitchen, Ana and other staff bustle about. Cindy nicely greets Carla, and says that Ana's told her that Carla is enjoying WBH. Ana proudly says that Carla never stops reading and is going to be a lawyer. Carla smiles a maybe, and asks Cindy for napkin rings or ribbon to roll up the napkins with. Cindy sends her to the dining room for rings, telling Ana, "She's such a talented girl." Because she thought of rolling a napkin? "This must be a NIGHTMARE for her!" I wouldn't want to work for the Walshes either, frankly. Brandon comes home, doesn't help, and eats the guests' food.

In the foyer, Carla calls out to Brandon. For reasons unknown, they spend the rest of this scene awkwardly holding hands like they're getting ready for a square dance.

Brandon thought Carla was working! She is working. Brandon finally twigs to what's going on, and says that he wanted her there as his guest, and to meet his parents. Carla breezily says that she did meet them, and that they're great. Brandon, meaningfully: "After last night, how can you work here?" (By the way: they're still holding hands.) Carla says she's just helping out, and doesn't know what the big deal is. Annoyed at Brandon, she FINALLY lets go: "I have to do this now." "NO, you DON'T," barks Brandon. No wife of his, right, guys?

Brandon stomps back into the kitchen to give the womenfolk a piece of his mind. He doesn't want Carla working there! Cindy asks why not, since she's doing a great job. Carla comes in to hear Brandon yell more about how he doesn't feel right having his friends SERVE him. Cindy shoots back that he serves his friends at the Peach Pit all the time. Brandon explains that that's a place of business; this is their home. Ana's like, "Hi." Cindy doesn't see the difference. Brandon tells her to take him off the guest list, then, and sarcastically volunteers to work for Ana himself. Carla feels weird. Good job, Brandon!

Brenda comes in to Brandon's room with an armload of Chick Schneider clothes. Brandon doesn't care about those, and is already changing into black pants and a white dress shirt so he matches the rest of the servers. He explains why he's so mad, and Brenda drops the hint that there may be more to Carla's story than they've been told. Enter Jim, who's heard about Brandon's temper tantrum. He tells Brandon that Chick Schneider is a huge client and that Brandon can't wreck the party for Jim. Can he be a gracious host?

Cut to the front door. Brandon, in a stupid sweater, lets in some old guests, and schmoozes. He should have stuck with the dress shirt, because what is this sweater?

Brenda comes in saying she needs a camera; Chick wants to take shots of the girls to use in the next catalogue. Jim isn't surprised -- they look "def? Dope?" Ugh. Also: neither.

Carla comes up with a tray. Donna misidentifies a flauta as a taco, because she is a bigot, I guess. Jim sends Carla her off to see if Chick needs anything.

In the living room, Chick tells tales of old-time surfing. Carla appears with flautas, but Chick indicates his margarita: "I think I'll slurp another one of these." After she's gone out to circulate through the rest of the room, Chick quietly adds, "...Preferably with you. In the dark." Steve: "It's a good thing Walsh didn't hear that." Um, you did, so you could tell the guy he's a skeeve. Dylan: "Yeah. He's really flipped for her in a major way." Carla leaves the room, and Brandon immediately follows.

In the foyer, Brandon asks Carla to help him bring down more chairs from the master. She demurs. He reminds her that he said he was sorry he embarrassed her. (Did he? Offscreen, I guess.) She says that he's the one who's embarrassed. Brandon defends that he was just surprised to see her. She goes up the stairs, Brandon whining, "Why are you still being so cold to me?" You've known each other a week! Anyway, Carla says that she's just trying to be conscientious.

So of course Brandon takes her to his room, where there are no chairs. Carla quickly figures out that this is not his parents' room. What's he doing? Brandon says he's just tired of seeing her "be conscientious." "What do you want, Brandon?" Carla asks, tensely. "What do you think?" Oh, the smugface.

So Carla grabs Brandon's head and kisses him violently. What's her problem? She doesn't like being told how she should feel or what she should think. Brandon: "What about Richard? He's obviously got something on you." What does he want from her? For it to be like last night, he says. Carla tells him that was last night; now she's working at a fancy party in Beverly Hills, and she'd appreciate it if he'd let her do her work. She stomps out.

Ana watches as Carla comes downstairs; then Brandon. And she is not impressed.

Ana stomps into the kitchen to confront Carla. Brenda overhears as Ana reminds Carla that she'd told Richard she would stay away from Brandon. Carla says it's not her fault. Ana tells Carla to show some respect for "these people." Carla says that she does respect them. Ana: "Then show some respect for me!"

Brenda comes into the foyer and asks Carla if everything's all right. Carla, obviously able to tell Brenda doesn't really like her or care, brushes her off.

In the living room, Cindy tries to take a picture of Chick with all the kids (minus Andrea, conspicuously not invited!) in his clothes, which photo Brandon ruins by pouting.

When the posed portion of the evening ends, Chick tells Jim he has great-looking kids. (Eh.) Jim kisses up, saying that they look great in Chick's spring line. Chick says that they expect great things this year; they just opened a factory (sweatshop) in Mexicali: "We should have done this years ago." As Brandon starts eavesdropping, Chick adds that there is a language barrier, but that "those people" work hard, and cheap. Brandon asks how much Chick pays his Mexican employees. Chick: "Why? You need a job?" Brandon says that he already has a job that pays a fair wage; he just doesn't like to hear about people being exploited. "Brandon!" says Jim warningly. Brandon turns on him: "I'm sorry, Dad. It just seems to me that the people who make his swimsuits ought to get something out of it, so their relatives don't have to chase after the work trucks in East L.A.!" That's kind of a reach, but anyway, Jim barks at Brandon to apologize. As everyone else in the party stands around awkwardly, Brandon says nothing, and Chick finally has to break the silence by saying that Brandon doesn't have to apologize: "Who knows, he's probably right." Employment inequity solved! Party ruined. Chick leads Jim away. Brandon finally looks up and sees Carla, horribly embarrassed.

Brandon finds Carla in the kitchen, getting her purse and making to leave. She says that he was right, and that she shouldn't have come, and tears out. He tries to follow, but Ana gets between them and tells him to let her go. She doesn't remind him that he and Carla have only known each other a week, but she could.

Night falls Chez Walsh. The party's over. Ana leaves. Jim and Cindy joke about doing it again tomorrow. Brenda tells Jim that it was a great party...and then they all look into the living room at Brandon sullenly folding chairs. Jim: "With one minor exception." But apparently no one's going to give Brandon any crap for it, even though everyone who might overhear him getting in trouble is now gone; Jim and Cindy go to bed, leaving Brenda to yell at Brandon.

But, she doesn't. (Weird.) Brenda asks if Brandon's okay. He says that this was a day he wishes he could start over. Everyone's mad at him: their parents, Ana, Carla, Brenda. She's not mad. He starts to thank her for standing by him, but, being Brenda, she barrels over him to add that she does think he's been "unbearably obnoxious" for the past week. Well, she'd know. Brandon, sarcastically: "Thanks." Brenda says that she doesn't know what to tell him -- he's been totally wrapped up in Carla. Brandon doesn't know how he's supposed to "yuk it up" when the girl he's "falling for" just walked out the door for no reason. Brenda suggests that she has a reason. Like what? Like her uncle was parked outside the whole time she was at the party; Dylan saw him. And when Carla ran out, she went straight to his car. Brandon opines that Richard is "bad news." He's going to find out what's going on!

He heads up to the master bedroom, where Jim and Cindy are getting ready for bed. "Can I talk to you?" asks Brandon, arrogantly. Jim doesn't seem to feel like a chat, so Brandon exposits that he apologized to everyone and knows he was out of line. Why do all of Brandon's apologies happen offscreen? Jim doesn't know what got into Brandon, which is funny, because I don't know what got on him. THIS SWEATER IS HORRENDOUS.

Brandon is totally unapologetic now, anyway: "Well, I'm confused, Dad. And I guess it really burns me up to think that there are things going on around here that are purposely being kept from me." Jim and Cindy exchange a look and sigh. Brandon says that Brenda's been saying all along that the Walshes weren't the sort of people who'd lie to help someone's niece get into a better school. "So what's the story, Dad?" Cindy looks horrified and ashamed...

...instead of just telling Brandon that the story is on a shelf he can't reach and to back it up with the accusations. Jim: "We like Carla very much." Brandon: "NO. Not as much as I do. Dad, I've never felt this way about anybody before." They. Have known each other. A WEEK. And there was also the girl he totally slept with. Wait, I thought they just made out! Are we supposed to think he and Carla slept together last night? In his car? In one of the old cars parked in her yard? Within hearing distance of her abuela?! Anyway, he begs to know what's going on, but Jim says that they can't tell him. They promised they wouldn't say anything, and if they'd known he and Carla would get together and that Brandon would be caused this much pain, they would have said no to Ana's request. Can they at least tell him who Richard is? Jim says that he should talk to Carla. How did this get turned around so they're apologizing to him, again?

To all those who thought I was trading in stereotypes with that remark about the cars in CM's yard, may I present this screen shot.

I didn't dress the set, people. Anyway, Brandon pulls up. Ana sends Brandon to find Carla at the park.

At the park, Carla's having a family picnic, and looks up to notice Brandon. They walk toward each other for ten minutes, but of course, Brandon's still being an obnoxious child. And Carla still hugs him, for reasons unknown.

Time passes. Carla's finally ready to tell Brandon the truth. Her dad is a prof at some college in Pomona, where they live; she's only been living in East L.A. for the past week. She volunteered in Dogtown and witnessed two guys committing a drive-by shooting. They made it known that they'd kill anyone who'd testify against them, so Richard thought he should go into hiding until the trial. Brandon guesses he's a cop, but no: he's the prosecuting attorney. She's like, "Well...bye!" but Brandon doesn't want to let go, and tries to tell her they can still make it work. But Carla says that if she took up with Brandon for reals, she would lose herself, and blah blah. So he settles for asking for a tour of Alvaro (or Olvera) Street. She'd like that, she says. (We never see her again.)

WBH. Donna and Kelly have this going on.

Dylan and Brenda have a boring couple fight. And Andrea apparently doesn't care about not getting invited to the party, because she's all smiles, telling Brandon she didn't change a comma in his latest story.

Andrea and Brandon head into the Blaze office, where Brandon muses, "I wish it could be like this with everyone." "Like what?" Uh, sexless? Brandon: "Like how we are with each other: easy. Comfortable. Real." She agrees it's nice.

Brandon's just glad they're not attracted to each other sexually, so that they can always be good friends. Totally! Or not.

David, in the booth. He's talking a mile a minute to Hammer's assistant...or is he?!

David: "At least you could put my call through ONE TIME without hanging up." Debbie Gibson tells David he has the wrong number. But then he recognizes her voice because he's playing her album right now! And calls back! He's been trying to get hold of her all week! Comedy!!!!!